Hello Darling Ones,

I write to you today for two reasons.

First, because I now refer to the recrudescence as “The Stroke Strikes Back.”

This is hilarious to me because I have not ever in all my years seen a Star Wars movie. Not any of them, and by last count there were eleventy hundred of them.

I have no interest or desire to see them. I didn’t when I was a kid and I don’t now. I get the gist of the story and all the references simply by being alive in the time of Star Wars. Same goes for Harry Potter. The Godfather. Indiana Jones. Anything to do with Hobbits (though I did have to read The Hobbit in 8th grade, and I’m still mad).

When I was a kid I had a sort of Bechdel Test before there was a Bechdel Test. If a TV show or movie didn’t have a bunch of kids or women in it, I had no interest. It’s why I hated StarTrek (the only thing on TV Sunday afternoons in the pre-cable days) and had no interest in Star Wars. It’s also why my sisters and I watched “Legend of Billie Jean” and “Grease 2” on repeat as kids.

Anyway, “The Stroke Strikes Back” is a terrible movie. Avoid at all costs.

I’ve been working on rebuilding my online portfolio (my site fell victim to a spam injection hack) and it is bumming me out. I worked so hard to build up my freelance business and it feels like it’s all gone down the drain. I opened by 1099s yesterday in reparation for doing my taxes and it was no good.

My stroke cost me $21,000+ and my taxable income for 2023 is a little over half go that.

The second reason I’m writing is because it’s Leap Day!

In the 24-year history of I Will Dare, I’ve written eight times on Leap Day. That seems like a lot because this is only the sixth Leap Day since I Will Dare’s inception, but six of them were on February 29, 2004 back before we had social media for our tiniest inane thoughts. And the last Leap Day I wrote was in 2012, when apparently the misogyny was bringing me down. So I guess that’s been happening for awhile now.

Happy Leap Day, Darling Ones. Don’t let Strokes or The Misogyny bring you down.

Love,
Jodi

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Hey Darling Ones,

Earlier this week while I was deep in grief I read some of the archives to see what I had written last year around this time.

I wrote about the movie “Reality Bites” and my nihilistic streak and why I was mad at Dave Grohl

Writing about pop culture is one of the Before Jodi things I missed the most. It is also the thing I have the most control over. So, this year I’m gonna try to do a monthlyish round-up of things I’ve dug recently — books, movies, TV, snacks, etc. So here goes.

Stone Blind by Natalie Haynes

I love a good feminist retelling of Greek mythology. They are very much my jam. I’ve read a bunch of them featuring Circe, the women of Troy, Cassandra, and Clytemnestra — to name a few. Hoo, do I have some opinions about Agamemnon.

This one about Medusa and her sisters is double-A+ fantastic. I have had a Medusa thing for awhile. Maybe since I started pondering my own monstrousness. I have a Medusa shirt I wear all the time. The only reason I’m not wearing it right now is because I took a shower last night and that called for fresh clothes.

This book made me both laugh out loud and cry real tears.

ALSO, if this is your kind of thing, you can read Gwen E. Kirby’s excellent short story “Shit Cassandra Saw That She Didn’t Tell the Trojans Because at that Point Fuck Them Anyway” for free. Her whole short story collection is seventeen fire emojis.

“Weird Faith” Madi Diaz

I discovered Madi Diaz back in 2022, and we eagerly anticipating this new record. It came out yesterday. I’ve listened to it six times from front to back. It’s the kind of bold and vulnerable songwriting that makes me want to stare into the middle distance while absorbing every single lyric.

Rebecca Solnit: How to Comment on Social Media

This satire piece killed me. Not only is it dead on, but I recognize how I try to head off some of these comments when I’m writing. Especially number four:
“That is, anything not declared in the post is something O.P. does not care about/is complicit with. Every expression of concern is in fact an expression of unconcern about something else. . .”

Number seven also hits home.

“Finally if the post is about something O.P. cares about, remember that you’ve cared about it longer, deeper, harder than they have, and that even someone’s care can be a basis for your triumph, along with condemning them for all those other things they evidently do not care about.”

I get this one a lot whenever I mention that I love The Replacements or the age of iwilldare.com (23+ years). People love to tell me they once had a blog in the late-90s or early-aughts.

Not that they have continuously written about their life on the internet for two-decades, but that they did once before I did.

Ok.

“June”

I loved this documentary on Paramount+ about June Carter Cash. It gives her the respect she’s due as a full-formed artist before she even met Johnny Cash. It talks about her goals as an artist and a woman. It also mentions, repeatedly, that she wrote “Ring of Fire.” Plus, it was both Dolly and Willie in it.

That’s what I’ve been digging lately. How about you?

Love,
Jodi

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So Darling Ones,

Last night I watched “Kurt Vonnegut: Unstuck in Time.” As I’m sure you’ve surmised it’s a documentary about Vonnegut. You can watch it on Hulu.

At one point in the movie they show a clip of a speech where he utters this famous line from Man Without a Country:

“And I urge you to please notice when you are happy, and exclaim or murmur or think at some point, ‘If this isn’t nice, I don’t know what is.’”

I murmured, exclaimed, and thought that very thing many times last night throughout the movie, especially the parts of the movie that were accompanied by a bowl of kettle corn smothered in everything but the elote seasoning.

There were times I wasn’t sure my heart was going to be able to handle the movie. Like when Vonnegut talked about how much he loved his sister and when I learned she grew to be six-foot tall and had bad posture because she hated it. Or when his daughters talked about the weird way he sat when he wrote. Or when he cackled about the odd/funny deaths of so many men he knew in WWII.

Since I’ve read a ton of his books, I knew Vonnegut had a deep vein of sadness that ran through him, and that sadness lived comfortably next to his humor and his optimism. Seeing all that in his eyes as he spoke, as he walked around, and he lived his life was difficult sometimes. Even though he was a much beloved author his loneliness was palpable. I’m convinced some people are just born that way.

When John Irving, pictured above, came on the screen I unexpectedly burst into tears. I had come unstuck in time.

All I could think about was how much it would have meant to 1992 me to see this movie. To see Irving talk about how fascinating Vonnegut was would have made that lonely, twenty-year-old nerd feel so good. I don’t know why twenty-something me was forefront in my mind because I had ample evidence dripping down my cheeks that this meant quite a bit to 2022 me. However, now that I think about it a bit buried deep in 2022 me is still 1992 me who was so lonely and afraid. That version of me did not have much besides the joy discovered in John Irving’s book and shortly thereafter Vonnegut’s.

I’m not entirely sure why I find this kind of thing makes me so happy and validated, but I do. Remember when Elizabeth McCracken talked about Geek Love?

Maybe when someone I idolize loves and appreciates the same things I do it makes me feel like I’m part of their magical karass. It’s not even like these literary loves of mine are obscure. It is not shocking that great writers admire other great writers, and yet. . . it still turns me into a giant goober.

It doesn’t even have to be writers. Wolfdogg told me recently the first line of Phoebe Bridgers’ “The End is Near” is a riff on a Bill Sullivan, tour manager for The Replacements, bit he’d do when he’s on tour.

Anyway, the movie is most excellent. It portrays Vonnegut as a flawed man, which I liked because it makes him more real. You should watch it when you have a chance.

Gooberly yours,
Jodi

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Hi Darling Ones,

Sometime this weekend I started reading Girls Like Us: Carole King, Joni Mitchell, Carly Simon–And the Journey of a Generation by Sheila Weller. I’m kind of ambivalent about it thus far because I have read a lot about these three women and so there is not a lot of brand-new-to-me information.

There’s some new info, like Joni Mitchell’s first husband was kind of a dick and so was Gerry Goffin. I’m only about half way through and I suspect the gettin’s about to get good.

Yesterday while reading, I came across a passage that had me sitting bolt upright on the couch as my brain fizzed and made a pop cultural connection I didn’t expect.

Here’s the passage:
“‘Earth Angel’ was a breakthrough for us,” Barbara Grossman Karyo remembers, expressing a widespread feeling among girls about the song, which after various releases, became hit in 1955 and 1956. “Slow dancing to ‘Earth Angel’ was the beginning of our sexual awakening.”

I don’t know about you, but I have seen the movie “Back to the Future” about 834 times since its release in 1985. That’s probably a conservative estimate. I love me some Michael J. Fox. I once spent most of Christmas putting together a LEGO DeLorean. I have Doc & Marty Funko Pops. I might need an Enchantment Under the Sea Dance poster. The jury is still out on that one.

Also, I would argue the Back to the Future trilogy is the best trilogy Hollywood ever made. Before Sunrise/Sunset/Midnight is #2. Your hobbits and jedis and archaeologists and godfathers can go to hell. I said what I said.

When I was reading what Carole King’s teenage best friend said about “Earth Angel” being the beginning of their sexual awakening my mind immediately shot to the penultimate scene in “Back to the Future.” You know the one.

I would like to make a correlation between that scene, my adoration of Michael J. Fox, and my personal sexual awakening, but we all know that happened when I saw Matt Dillon in “The Outsiders.” So the soundtrack to my sexual awakening is probably C. Thomas Howell saying, “When I stepped out into the bright sunlight from the darkness of the movie house, I had only two things on my mind: Paul Newman and a ride home.” Nowhere near as cool as “Earth Angel.”

Do you think the makers of Back to the Future picked that song for that scene because of its sexual awakening powers? I did some cursory googling but got nothing. I didn’t try too hard because I have a stomachache and I need to get back to laying on the couch and moaning softly about it.

I’m gonna pretend the makers did know and chose the song on purpose because it makes me like “Back to the Future” an eensy bit more than I did before.

Great Scott!
Jodi

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Hi Darling Ones,

I’m not saying that I’m hooked into the pulse of the universe, but I’m not not saying that either.

Exhibit A: On August 10th, I wrote about my dream all-female tribute to The Replacements. On August 11th, those same Replacements announced the 40th Anniversary release of “Sorry Ma, Forgot to Take Out the Trash.”

Exhibit B: On August 19th, I wrote about my favorite movie “Almost Famous.” On August 20th, Rolling Stone publishes “Stillwater Runs Deep,” which is supposed to be the article William Miller wrote after “Almost Famous” and is also the greatest thing to happen on the Internet this week. I could name 15 things I love about the article, but my favorite is that Russell Hammond is from Sheboygan, Wisconsin. I love this because in all the fiction I write I have at least one character from Oconomowoc. Wisconsin towns are really the best towns to be from.

Obviously, I’m in tune with something going on in the great cosmos. Or I have finally developed the stupidest psychic powers of all time.

That’s all I got today. It was a rough one and I ate my feelings. Lucky for me all my feelings were donuts.

Love,
Jodi

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