Dear Darling Ones,
Not long ago I confessed to how many of The Replacements’ lyrics I use in my every day life. It’s an embarrassing amount.
Lest you think I am a one-trick 6’5″ Spinster Goddess, I decided to share with you the everyday “Almost Famous” quotes that have become part of my personal vernacular. In case you live under a rock, “Almost Famous” is a 2000 Cameron Crowe movie about a teenage reporter going on assignment for Rolling Stone with the almost famous band Stillwater. It is one of the best movies of all time according to me, and I can recite the entire movie by heart because I watched this, “High Fidelity,” or “Shakespeare in Love” almost every night from 2001-2008 when I lived in Prior Lake and didn’t have cable or over-the-air TV and only had my DVD player for televisionary entertainment.
I’m always at home. I’m uncool.
I used this one on my nephew this week when he had to postpone our lunch plans. He responded, “I’m always at home, but I think we’re both pretty cool.” He also included a smiley emoji with hearts swirling around it. I explained it was a quote from a movie. He did not care even a little bit.
Jim Morrison? He’s a drunken buffoon posing as a poet.
“Give me the Guess Who. They got the courage to be drunken buffoons, which makes them poetic.” I fucking hate The Doors and will give this little spiel whenever they come up anywhere. I’m fun at parties!
I am a golden god.
I say this one any day I get a sub-one-minute time on the NY Times Mini Crossword. It happens a lot. Last week I had six sub-minute times. Usually, I toss up some rock & roll fingers and shout “I am a golden god!” Then I point at Wendell, my cat, and say, “And you can tell Rolling Stone magazine.” I don’t finish the quote because I’m not on drugs.”
It’s all happening.
I say this when anything happens at all ever in my vicinity. It probably does not surprise you that I don’t use this one very much. I’m the mayor of nothing happens.
Be honest, and unmerciful.
This one is a reminder for me when I’m writing. It doesn’t always work, but I at least think about being honest and unmerciful.
You are rebellious and ungrateful of my love.
I said that one thirty-six seconds ago to Wendell, who has climbed on top of the plant-laden bookcase that really does not have room for his furry ass.
I look for the guy who isn’t getting off, and I make him get off. Actually, that you can print.
I probably say this one more often than all the rest because I say it in my head every time I finish a post here on I Will Dare dot com.
Making you get off,
Jodi
I definitely use “it’s all happening” a lot! Also, “ask me again” and the line/idea about going to the record store to visit your friends when you’re lonely.
Some years ago I found a paperback copy of the screenplay; it was a supplement to Sight and Sound magazine, though I think I found it at a thrift store.
I love that you use ask me again! That is the best. I envy your paperback script.
I know you don’t like me because, 20+ years ago, I didn’t understand the Internets. But I have been “with you” since Backwash when you were all hot to have red-headed babies. They called me from wherever a few times to say “Jodi sez blah blah blah, is she right?” About journalistic things. I always defended you.
But Jesus Christ, Jodi, who gives a fuck about a 20-year-old movie that you memorized? The problem with that film was that the BAND was no good! They did not deserve the adulation they supposedly got. Even Crowe was disappointed.
One of my favorite movies it John Wayne’s “The Alamo,” and I know all the lines but…I gave it a rest some time ago. I almost cried when you mentioned the CD “Ten,” big fucking deal. Everybody bought it for Vedder, played it a few times, and that was it. The end. It’s 21 years old. It doesn’t even sound good anymore. I dug it out and played it yesterday to make sure I’m telling a true story. I am. If was fun. About the same time “Friends” started yes? That was fun too. At the time.
I know that you’re super-loyal to local music. It was BIG of you to like Jason Isbell, huh, since he’s not from the Twin Cities. You mention The Replacements (“Mats!”) over & over & over, so I actually went to Youtube to listen to them yesterday. AND I went to read their lyrics. “I Will Dare” strikes me as a guy who sez he MIGHT dare to meet jail bait on the spot. What is so deep about that? Seriously? He’s daring her to meet him, and he says he MIGHT dare, fuck him anyway! THAT is the song lyric that means the most to you? YOU are a FAR better writer than Paul Westerburg. Maybe you don’t lie on the stage floor and kick your feet and everything, but you could have taken the same theme and it would mean something a little “deeper.”
Maybe, maybe, you are casting your net for some Mats fan to love you, but I don’t see that happening. Can you go a month without writing about them? At the time, I loved Dire Straits, but if I wrote an entire page about them at this point, as if they are till creating music, people wouldn’t read beyond the first graf.
I have followed you for all these years, because I think you have real writing talent, but I’m beginning to see that I may have been wrong. I’ve been wrong before, but I think you’re squandering the talent you used to have.
You told us that soon you would be writing about something meaningful and interesting. Go do it. Maybe that’s not true, though. Maybe all you want to write about is a 21-year-old band that nevr really made it anyway. Maybe that’s as deep as you can get. Maybe i was wrong about your talent and depth.
Oh shut the fuck up asshole
You need to get a fucking LIFE you miserable twat.
Get me out of this stinkin’ fresh air
Ninety days in the electric chair
Step right up son
Gonna show you something ain’t never been done
You’re all fucked
Listen, it don’t cost much
I lay down the line that you touch
Never do what you’re told
There’ll be time, believe me, when you’re old
You’re all wrong and I’m right
Please be on your honor
Please be on your side
Listen to the story all right
I’m losing all I own on that dotted line
Step right up son
Gonna show you something ain’t never been done
You’re all wrong and I’m right
You see I want it in writing, I owe you nothing
Want it in writing, I owe you nothing
Want it in writing
Boy, the last time I wrote that many words about something I didn’t care about, I was 20. Are you 20? You must be, because you sure talk a lot about how other people should be writing for YOU and not for themselves, and you must almost certainly be a millennial because you think that everything written must be responded to by YOU.PERSONALLY. IMMEDIATELY. Because you can’t just think your petty, small thoughts to yourself and just move along. You need a SPOTLIGHT of ATTENTION on YOU.
So good for you. Glad you got that off your chest. And I hope that you are reveling in the attention from the comments. Everyone who reads your comment feels sorry for you that you have such little happening in your life that you have to read what YOU think is an irrelevant post about an irrelevant band on an irrelevant blog. What are the ‘Mats doing? More interesting things than you. What is Jodi doing? More interesting things than you. I hope you slept well in your self-righteousness thinking you’re better then everyone else. Gold star for you.
Late to the party, as usual, but I wanted to say when I first read your blog post, I wanted to say I had just watched “Almost Famous” for the first time the other night, and LOVED it!!! As a former musician, it was pretty fun to watch. Also “Shakespeare in Love” and “High Fidelity” are two of my favorite movies and I recommend them to everyone I know AND my roommate is sick of me talking about them.
You do you, girlfriend! I enjoy your blog. Keep on writing.
Thank you! Anyone who drives their roommate bonkers talking about those movies is a-okay in my book.
Oh yeah, and your header is most excellent!