The COVID Diaries: I Saw a Human Yesterday

Hey Darling Ones,

Ya girl is back. Can I pull of “ya girl?” I tried to pull off “hella” this weekend and I don’t think it worked. I’m not sure if girl works either. I’m a forty-eight-year-old woman and even when I was a girl nobody treated me like one. Being a 5’4″ seven year old does that to you.

So, I saw a human yesterday. It sucked, but I did not hate it. My nephew Max stopped by to pick up some stuff he had shipped here and to wrap some Hanukkah gifts for his girlfriend before joining her family for dinner. It sucked only because I was the kind of tired that makes your brain foggy and has you hating everything. We FaceTimed with the Portland people and I bah-humbugged all over the situation.

“You really are a grinch this year,” Sister #2 said. Usually I’m Christmas as fuck making hats and special treats and generally being giddy about this time of year. This year for a special treat I’m bitter and resentful and don’t want to do anything that doesn’t involve sitting on the couch alternately daydreaming and hating everything.

While I’m still cranky and annoyed with everything I’m doing it with a bunch of joie de vivre today. Why? Because I cratered into sleep at 8:45 last night and did not wake up until 7:30 this morning. I’m like a new woman. I’m like a recent convert to some religion and I want to ask everyone, “have you heard about sleep? It’s amazing!” Because I took a mittfulla melatonin on my way to the sleep crater I had roughly 29 weird dreams. The best one was where I was a really good singer and I convinced these dudes to let me join their band. Also, I downloaded the audiobook version Daisy Jones & The Six from the library and listened to it before I fell asleep.

Hours later. . .

Seems my body has decided we’re going to catch up on every single grain of missed sleep today. I did the very smallest amount of things, ate a couple of tacos, and then my body was ready for a nap. And it worked! More often than not I fail at napping. Now I’m trying not to be anxious about the nap ruining tonight’s sleep.

While I’m still livin’ la vida vivre* here’s four other good things.

  • I showed Maxwell my cool, new rechargeable candle lighter and he was as impressed & amazed by it as I am.
  • I picked up groceries today and I got a bunch of donuts.
  • Burning candles is my new thing (kinda like lipstick) and I finally finished this giant, stinky bath & body works candle I bought 82 years ago and now I have one that smells like cinnamon and cardamom and if this candle were a man I’d change my facebook status to in a relationship.
  • I spent most of the afternoon while not napping listening to Soul Coughing and it has made me nostalgic in a very sweet way.

My words burn the air like the names of candybars,

*Yeah, I know that makes no sense. I got 780 days of Duolingo Spanish and one semester of 8th grade French from 1986 in my brain. I’m no dummy.

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