The COVID Diaires: I Had a Real Job Once

Hey Darling Ones,

Today I spent most of time doing mundane web chores for dollars while listening to the albums of The New Pornographers in chronological order. It was like 2004 up in this joint except I’m wearing pajamas, my headphones don’t have a cord, and there’s no Wondergeek or Webboy to argue with. I even kept hitting repeat on “Letter From an Occupant” just like the olden days.

When that flashback to my time at the software company hit, it occurred to me that many of the readers of I Will Dare dot com might not remember that I had a real job once upon a time ago. Did you know that I was a copywriter who used to do things like come up with marketing and ad campaigns? I used to write the copy for software boxes back when software came in boxes. It was super glamorous.

Despite my fantasy of there being millions of readers of this site who all have kind of a crush on me and so went back and read all the archives and thus would ace Jodi Chromey 101 and Jodi Chromey 219, I recognize people usually just start reading when they discover me and never go back. Some never come back. I really have no fucking clue. I stopped caring about my stats right around the time I stopped working a real job, I think.

I got laid off from Hell, Inc. in March of 08 and The Nerdery in May of 09. That’s like seventy-eight eons ago in web years. Or 2.2 2020s ago. Time has no meaning anymore.

So while I was singing along loudly to “Letter From an Occupant” for the sixth time today I realized most readers have no idea about Wondergeek and how he used to goad me into debates about Martin Zellar v Paul Westerberg. Or how I tortured Webboy on a daily basis by calling him Webboy and also telling him all kinds of “Little House on the Prairie” fun facts. These were the days where I’d post about 92 times a day and only 39 of them were about turkey sandwiches*. I was so fucking annoying. But then we didn’t have much else to do on the web besides illegally download music and update our blogs. Social media wasn’t a thing yet.

Yes, I am your granny internet, and I’m a little sad you missed out on blogging’s glory days before it died and then came back to life and then died again. It was pretty rad even with all the turkey sandwich posts.

Gobble, gobble,

*Incidentally, I made a turkey sandwich for lunch today and it was delicious: arugula, radishes, pepper jack, red onion, and hickory smoked turkey on 12-grain bread. Yes, ya girl can pile ingredients on bread like nobody’s business (I’m still trying to see if I can make ya girl happen).

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