Greetings & Salutations Darling Ones, Today as I was languidly popping another cherry into my mouth I casually thought, When I look back on July 2021 I’m gonna remember eating cherries almost every day.* Even…
Browsing Category Hermit Truths
Nearly Crushed Under the Weight of My Own Hypocrisy
Hi Darling Ones, Even though I present myself here as a flawless Spinster Goddess comprised of warm soup, soft breasts, and sparkles, I do have. few flaws. Amongst them is procrastination and impatience. Oh, and…
Welcome to the Jungle, It Gets Worse Here Every Day
Oh Darling Ones, My heart is shaky with rage. I am incandescent with fury. Bill Cosby raped, assaulted, or molested sixty women and has walked free on a technicality. I don’t know what angers me…
If a Cabbage Patch Kid Mated with a Mean Turtle
Dear Darling Ones, For the first half of my career I worked on and off with a woman named Linda who used to ask her clients & contractors “What keeps you up at night?” She…
One Foot in the Door, the Other One in the Grave
Friends, Romans, Darling Ones, lend me your ears, It is 6:01 p.m. on Monday the 28th of June as I type this. I’ve already eaten dinner. To be perfectly honest, I ate dinner four Hi-Chews,…
Just Add Cowboy
So, Darling Ones, Do you remember back in January when I became a Tree Influencer? Me neither. January was eighty-six years ago and my memory isn’t as a sharp as it used to be. This…
I Did Not Keep My Naked Flesh Under My Favorite Dress (I Don’t Wear Dresses)
Hi Darling Ones, Today I wore a spaghetti-strapped shirt that did not cover my upper arms to pick up groceries. Despite what my inner monologue said from the moment I got up and chose to…
My Seven Cents
Dear Darling Ones, I’m a little blue today. This funk sprung out of nowhere and I even attempted to buy myself a plant to make me feel better and my inner voice said all petulant…
My Horoscope Said it Would Be a Good Year
Hello Darling Ones, Today, June 6th, is my birthday.* I am forty-nine years old. It is the last birthday of my forties. The first thing I did this morning when I woke up at ass…