Hi Darling Ones, Jodi Hanson spent the night over at our house every other weekend throughout the summer of 1987. That was the summer we discovered crystals, tarot cards (purchased at the Waldenbooks in the Northtown Mall), astrology, candles, and all sorts of witchy stuff. I don’t know who the ouija board belonged to. It might have been Jodi, she was rich compared to us,…
Darling Ones! I hope you remember way back on February 25th when I predicted Phyllis the Amaryllis would bust our her flower on March 3rd. Because, take a look at that picture up there. I’m warning you now that if a flower pops out of that bad girl tomorrow I will be hawking my psychic abilities now until doomsday. You’ve been warned. Another thing happening…
Hello Darling Ones, My nihilism has reached such epic proportions that I didn’t even watch the Golden Globes last night. While that might not seem like much to you, it’s kind of a big deal in the jodiverse. I love awards shows. A lot. I watch almost all of them, even for shit I don’t care at all about, and the Golden Globes is usually…
Hi Darling Ones, When I was 18 I read A Prayer for Owen Meany by John Irving for the first time and it changed my life. After that, I quickly read every book by John Irving I could get my hands on (and accidentally some by John Updike because I am bad with names). I did this a lot in my 20s, discovered a new…
Hi Darling Ones, If I were a different kind of person I’d post that picture of Phyllis (above) with that quote by Anaïs Nin in a scripty font and then talk about whatever I made in my Instant Pot and how I can’t wait for it to be wine o’clock. Even when I’m sad like I am today, I’m super happy that I’m not that…
Hey Darling Ones, Back in my journalism major days we had to take a class where we practiced writing news stories. I drove Derek, the kid who sat next to me, nuts because I would spend most of my writing time staring at a blank screen trying to think of a lede and only once I had that lede would I start writing. It was…
So, Darling Ones, Still no flower, which is okay. I’m putting my money on that baby bursting forth on March 3rd. I got a lot on my mind today, as I mentioned in yesterday’s letter, so all I have is a small list of things that delighted me today. There are SO MANY donuts in my house right now. When I folded and put away…
Hiya Darling Ones, No flower yet. Since I was never pregnant I’m gonna pretend that you are all as excited about the blooming of this flower as you would be if I were having a baby. I realize this is putting me uncomfortably close to being a person who calls my plants her babies or Wendell my fur baby. Trust, that will never be me….
Attention, Darling Ones! We’ve officially entered Phyllis the Amaryllis Watch 2021, also known as the only reason for me to get out of bed in the morning. My baby bucket of dirt is gonna burst into a flower any day now. I swear this motherfucker is gonna be four-feet tall by the time it reaches its full height. I guess, I really have no idea…
Hold on to your hats, Darling Ones! First, I’m not sure what list/radio/whatever I’m listening to on Spotify but it just put Beth Orton’s Concrete Sky right before Tracy Chapman’s Fast Car. I’m not ashamed to admit that I actually fist pumped and said out loud to Cheeseburger Man, “I have the best taste!” Is your hat still firmly held in place? Good, because guess…
