Querido Darling Ones, I learned how to say ‘dear’ in Spanish today. It seems apropos since I also fake married Michael J. Fox. I did both of these things before I even got out of bed and got dressed this morning. The imaginary marriage is a long-time coming. As you can see by the snapshot of my tweenage scrapbook up there I’ve been in love…
Hi Darling Ones, How was your Thanksgiving? Just to get this out of the way, my Thanksgiving sucked and I hated it. Sure having Sister #4 & Dolly (her Beagle/German Shepherd mix who super hates me as the running joke goes) here for three days was a goddamn delight. We ate pizza, watched obscure game shows from the 90s, bumbled our way through making Thanksgiving…
Hi Darling Ones, I am not doing very well today. Sleep is continuing to be an elusive bitch, I haven’t spent time in the presence of another human being in fifteen days, I have a headache that refuses to go away, and there’s the guilt about having five people over for Thanksgiving dinner. Logically, rationally, I know the chances of us getting the covid from…
‘Sup Darling Ones? This letter is a fucking trainwreck. I have written and deleted about 600 words having nothing to do with what I wanted to write about. It was all preamble and nonsense. There are two things I wanted to say. 1.) Recently I got introduce Elizabeth McCracken the author of my very favorite novel of all time, The Giant’s House to the song…
Hey Darling Ones, On one hand, the idea of a human being having a brand kind of makes me want to barf. We are not corporate entities who exist to make money. On the other hand, it cracks me up when people are funny & original about things that constitute their brand. Or when my family says something snarky about each other and the victim…
Hello Darling Ones, I spend roughly six to eight hours a day listening to music. This isn’t an exaggeration. I usually put my headphones on as soon as I’m done with breakfast and don’t take them off until it’s time to make dinner. Sometimes I put them back on after dinner. It’s why 90% of my selfies include headphones, my hair has a permanent headphone…
Hi Darling Ones, My status as A #1 Buzzkill is starting to annoy me. Being sad and woe is me is starting to bug the shit out of me. Like, I’m annoyed by my own brain. We get it, Jodi, you’re sad and lonely, shut fuck the up. The being lonely thing really chaps my hide because after spending my 30s being the loneliest motherfucker…
Hey Darling Ones, Today was pretty shitty. I’m sorry to be vague but there was some Sister #3 and Tibble drama that had my mom crying to me on the phone before I even poured my coffee this morning. It sucked. Thankfully, the drama was pretty quickly resolved, but the sadness and anger have hung around all day. I do my best not to think…
Hi Darling Ones, Another lavender plant died in my custody. I didn’t even have this one for a week before it started to die! I was gonna say I killed it, but I think this is just a weak-ass strain of lavender. Once? yeah, probably my fault, but twice? Really? I’ve kept Muriel alive for 17 years so, like I said, I’m practically a farmer….
Hi Darling Ones, I have inadvertently thought about Matt Dillon a lot the last week. It’s not something I planned. It’s just something that happened, a happy accident for sure. After yesterday’s letter one of my Twitter pals asked me where “Beautiful Girls” Matt Dillon landed on the Matt Dillon Attractiveness Scale. I had to think fast, because until now, the scale had not been…
