Dear Employer, When you hear the news please save the saintly words for saintly souls. I’ll be long gone, long gone and rotting, long gone and ulcerous. A thing untold. The first time I got laid off was in March, 2008. We had a farewell party at the office, since Corel was closing up shop and it was mostly empty. I was in charge of…
Dear Darling Ones, On Monday, Jason Kottke announced he was taking a sabbatical from his 24-year-old blog. This threw me for a loop. Kottke was one of the first blogs I ever read in my entire life. I’ve been reading him for as long as I’ve known blogs were a thing. I have long admired his work. What Kottke and I do are very different…
Hi Darling Ones, From March 9th, 2005 until, well, probably the day I die I will never travel far without a little Big Star. Why is that? Because I got my very first iPod on that day in 2005 (I use the wrong its in that post and I’m not gonna fix it 17 years later, but I kind of want to). I documented the…
Hey Darling Ones, When it comes to coincidences I hate them in fiction. The only thing I hate more in fiction is a coy narrator. When I’m reading a book nothing makes me fart-noise while simultaneously giving the thumbs like a stupid coincidence. They’re often lazy, obvious, and always annoying. As much as I hate them in fiction, I love them in actual life, especially…
Hi Darling Ones, When I opened my eyes this morning I had three thoughts almost simultaneously. First, “She Moves in Her Own Way” by The Kooks was stuck in my head. Second, Wendell, the vengeance demon was in need of attention. Third, I would be fifty years old in one month. There’s nothing like one of those round number birthdays to make you rethink every…
Hey Darling Ones, For a delightful change of pace I’m not going to complain about living in the Smelly Trashbags of America. However, if you’re wondering how I’m handling the imminent revocation of abortion access, I cried while singing along to Pat Benetar’s “Hit Me With Your Best Shot.” I was driving home from the grocery store singing my head off when the second verse…
Hi Darling Ones, The worst part of living in a white supremacist capitalistic christian patriarchal oligarchy is that you’re expected to carry on like nothing is happening when something is happening all the time. And not like piddly navel-gazing petty drama shit. And not even serious, life-altering personal shit. But like catastrophic, apocalyptic, life-ending shit. It’s been happening off and on since like 2016, but…
Fucking A, Darling Ones, What the fuck is with this garbage country and the Supreme Court? WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK? Read the Politico story about the overturning of Roe v. Wade if you need to catch up. Do not tell me to calm down. Do not tell me that it’s a draft. For your own safety, do not tell me anything because I am incandescent…
Hi Darling Ones, Why is it that our grandest triumphs and greatest tragedies seem to go hand in hand? Do we need one to properly appreciate the other? Is this how we gain perspective? Should I start with the good news or the bad news? Probably the good since that has uncovered the bad. Remember my derelict ice maker that likes to break all the…
Dear Amy, Hi. Just so you know I’m writing to you specifically, let me quickly list all the Amys you are not. You are neither of the two tea lady Amys. You are not my college BFF Amy, my first college newspaper editor Amy, nor the college Amy who fucked that rando in my bed after a party I had at my place on Gilbert….
