13 Years

Dear Employer, When you hear the news please save the saintly words for saintly souls. I’ll be long gone, long gone and rotting, long gone and ulcerous. A thing untold. The first time I got laid off was in March, 2008. We had a farewell party at the office, since Corel was closing up shop and it was mostly empty. I was in charge of…

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On Sabbaticals, Perspective & Shouting Into the Void

Dear Darling Ones, On Monday, Jason Kottke announced he was taking a sabbatical from his 24-year-old blog. This threw me for a loop. Kottke was one of the first blogs I ever read in my entire life. I’ve been reading him for as long as I’ve known blogs were a thing. I have long admired his work. What Kottke and I do are very different…

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When Two Things Have a Relationship Outside of Your Own Heart

Hey Darling Ones, When it comes to coincidences I hate them in fiction. The only thing I hate more in fiction is a coy narrator. When I’m reading a book nothing makes me fart-noise while simultaneously giving the thumbs like a stupid coincidence. They’re often lazy, obvious, and always annoying. As much as I hate them in fiction, I love them in actual life, especially…

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Portrait of the Artist at 49 Years & 11 Months

Hi Darling Ones, When I opened my eyes this morning I had three thoughts almost simultaneously. First, “She Moves in Her Own Way” by The Kooks was stuck in my head. Second, Wendell, the vengeance demon was in need of attention. Third, I would be fifty years old in one month. There’s nothing like one of those round number birthdays to make you rethink every…

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Things That Make Me Feel Top Chef-y

Hey Darling Ones, For a delightful change of pace I’m not going to complain about living in the Smelly Trashbags of America. However, if you’re wondering how I’m handling the imminent revocation of abortion access, I cried while singing along to Pat Benetar’s “Hit Me With Your Best Shot.” I was driving home from the grocery store singing my head off when the second verse…

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What Do You Do While Waiting for Your Rights to Be Taken Away?

Hi Darling Ones, The worst part of living in a white supremacist capitalistic christian patriarchal oligarchy is that you’re expected to carry on like nothing is happening when something is happening all the time. And not like piddly navel-gazing petty drama shit. And not even serious, life-altering personal shit. But like catastrophic, apocalyptic, life-ending shit. It’s been happening off and on since like 2016, but…

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I am Hysterical

Fucking A, Darling Ones, What the fuck is with this garbage country and the Supreme Court? WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK? Read the Politico story about the overturning of Roe v. Wade if you need to catch up. Do not tell me to calm down. Do not tell me that it’s a draft. For your own safety, do not tell me anything because I am incandescent…

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