Holy buckets, Darling Ones, I did not expect it to feel this good. In case you hadn’t noticed, I’m pretty jaded, bitter, and cynical*. I’m wary of all things that might make my ice robot heart feel hope. However, today I cannot keep the joy out of my bones. I bawled my face off when Vice President Kamala Harris took the oath of office. It…
Hi Darling Ones, I’m coming to you just back from the brink of death. Or at least that’s what it feels like. I somehow managed to poison myself with food last night. Of all the magical thinking I engage in (and it’s a lot), the most magical is the belief that food will be edible until I’m damn good and ready to eat it no…
Hello Darling Ones, Thank for indulging my toxic loneliness yesterday. I felt much better after writing about it and getting those feelings outside myself. Much as I suspected, despite my negative attitude, dinner with The Youths & The Olds did my heart good. It also did my heart dirty, and I’ll get to that in a minute. First, I have to tell you that my…
Hi Darling Ones, I woke up in a pit of loneliness and despair on Friday and I have yet to climb out of it. I’m trying. This weekend I’ve done all the things one should do: I exercised, I ate vegetables and fruits, I read books, I sobbed my face off over the death of Rayna Jaymes on “Nashville,” I wrote thousands of words while…
Hi Darling Ones, Today is my nephew Cade’s nineteenth birthday and it has left me shaken and sad. I’m doing my best not to fill the Tibble-shaped hole in my heart and life with tears. I’m not totally succeeding. I recently read Liz Phair’s memoir Horror Stories, which I did not totally love. However, she had this great line about being adopted, “It was also…
Dear Darling Ones, Much like you, I’m really very tired of living through unprecedented times and major historical events on the reg. It’s weird how everything can be chaotic all the time and yet I’m frequently so fucking bored that I can feel my brain cells dying because they can’t think of anything better to do. I’m not gonna write about the turnip or peaches…
Hi Darling Ones, Every year for Christmas Sister #4 gets me a hostess gift for letting her stay with me and also for hosting all our holiday events. It’s usually a random item off my Amazon wishlist. One year she got me an aqua-colored can opener. One year it was a Cameron from “Ferris Bueller” Funko Pop. It’s always super sweet and thoughtful. I try…
Hi Darling Ones, This weekend I made the extremely smart decision to re-read Kevin Brockmeier’s The Brief History of the Dead, a novel about the end of the world caused by a viral pandemic that decimates most of the world’s population except for one woman living in extreme isolation in Minnesota Antarctica. There’s even a bit about people with websites documenting the end of the…
Dear Darling Ones, I’ve suffered with insomnia for most of my life. I had a tumultuous, insecure childhood which made me anxious and unable to sleep. When Ronald Reagan was elected I spent most of the 80s awake in my bed fearing nuclear war. My battles with sleep have been well-chronicled in the pixels of I Will Dare. Since I was a kid one of…
Yeah, Darling Ones, I don’t even know what to fucking say. How do you bounce back from a white supremacist mob of terrorists overtaking the capitol at the behest of the President in the middle of a pandemic while the police and military basically greet the dirtbags with open doors and warm cookies? Like do I come back here and make masturbation jokes while whining…
