Hi Darling Ones, The unbearable heat and humidity in Minnesota has broken, which means we can have the windows open and not want to die of sweat-induced crankiness. Thank to a cool breeze, open windows, and Liz Phair I got a momentary respite from the dread. Frankly, I’m a little surprised I was awake to experience it. I don’t know about you, Darling Ones, but my reaction to having my…
Hi Darling Ones, I slept in this morning because there’s been some stuff going on and I’m tired. I woke up in 1972. Fuck. As you know, the Supreme Court overturned Roe v. Wade. So not only did I wake up in 1972 now we live in the United States of Forced Birth & Gun Violence. I don’t know if the depths of my despair can get any deeper. For…
Dear Darling Ones, Would you be surprised to know that 82.9% of the time I type “Darking Ones” on my first attempt? It’s like how when I had a co-worker named Doug I always, always, always typed “Dough” first. In fact, I typed dough when trying to type that sentence. I frequently type my own name as Jodio. What is that? It’s me stalling, I guess. {{{{{{{RECORD SCRATCH}}}}}} I started…
Dear Darling Ones, Back at the turn of the century I lived in a shitty apartment in Prior Lake down the road from a pub & restaurant called Hooligans. This was during the bowling alley era, and since it was the closest restaurant to the bowling alley that could seat us all, my family ate there a lot. To be fair, everybody in the Prior Lake/Savage area ate there a…
Hi Darling Ones, I didn’t start having seasonal allergies until I was in my mid-30s. It feels like a ripoff to develop them at that point in life. Shouldn’t allergies be something you’re born with? I thought I won some kind of genetic lottery until that weird spring of 2000-aught-something when I was convinced every other day I was coming down with a cold. My boss, JTo, listened to me…
Hi Darling Ones, A few years ago I read Maggie Nelson’s The Argonauts. I can’t remember the full context of the essay anymore, but at one point Nelson is writing about “The Shining” and how the woman Jack Nicholson is embracing goes from pretty young thing to putrid old crone in an instant. She says of the nameless character, “She did not get the memo about being beyond wanting or…
Dear Darling Ones, It’s my birthday today. I made it to fifty. You better be impressed by my longevity. I’m impressed, and nothing impresses me. It takes a ridiculous amount of hard work to be a human this long. The past two years have made it even harder. Hell, the past two weeks haven’t been a real treat for any of us, have they? Most years, when I have some…
Hi Darling Ones, This afternoon I told a couple of clients I wouldn’t be available on Monday because it was my birthday and my sisters are coming to town. That’s when it really, truly hit me that god willing and the creek don’t rise, I’m gonna be fifty years old on Monday. 50. FIIIIiiiiIIFFFFFFfffffttty. Five and zero. I do not feel emotionally prepared to be fifty. I’m way too immature…
Oh, Darling Ones, I don’t have religion, instead I have rock & roll. This is not a new thought. It’s a recurring theme in my life. Sometimes I wish I had religion. I love religious symbols and iconography. I like some of the stories. Most of the people I know who really study religion on both an intellectual and spiritual level are some of the smartest people I know. Sadly,…
Dear America, I cannot with you anymore. I am hopeless and hapless, and that was before I learned twenty people were killed with a gun today at an elementary school in Texas. Eighteen of them were children. Last week a white supremacist with a gun murdered ten black people at a grocery store. In the last two years one million people have died from a disease we refuse to do…
