Oh Darling Ones, Being a Replacements fan is sometimes the worst. Being a female ‘Mats fan is always the absolute worst. As you may or may not know, the “Tim (Let it Bleed Edition)” was released today. It’s a remastered version of “Tim” with a whole bunch of other amazing stuff. Specifically, “Can’t Hardly Wait (Cello Version)”. As is to be expected, boners are up all over town about this…
Hey Darling Ones, If you had the great misfortune of attending Roosevelt Junior High in Blaine, Minnesota during the 80s, you know the very special hell that was swimming. Roosevelt had a pool and just like dodge ball and other assorted athletic tortures, swimming was part of the curriculum. Nobody enjoyed the swimming unit in gym. We dreaded swimming so much we’d talk about for weeks leading up to it….
Hi Darling Ones, Today marks a year since my dad just died. How it can be simultaneously a year ago already and only a year ago is not a mystery. A lot has happened since September 16, 2022. My Uncle Danny died. Sister #2’s high school best friend Betty died. I got my first-ever UTI (I forgot about this one!). My vision went to hell. I had a stroke. I…
Dear Darling Ones, Hot Dog, do I have some good news to share. In fact, I have two good newses to share. TWO. I’ve had two really good things happen in a row. THING 1 I don’t have colon cancer or as the crass and uncouth refer to it, the butt cancer. What a relief. This was the last of the big three tests (mammogram, pap smear, and colonoscopy)and none…
Hi Darling Ones, I’m about 45 minutes away from the last supper. That’s what I’m calling tonight’s meal. Starting at 11:45 p.m. I’m on a clear liquid diet until my colonoscopy Tuesday afternoon. “THAT HASN’T HAPPENED YET?” EM shouted at me over the phone yesterday. ‘No,” I said. “I’ve just been talking about it since I made the appointment in June.” I’ve been talking about this procedure for three months…
Hello Darling Ones. Today marks six months since I had a stroke. Back on March 6, 2023 when I was weak and terrified, I thought six months was 100 years away. Everyone said and everything I read said stroke recovery took six months. I thought there was no way I could handle being disabled like this, a burden to everyone, unable to take care of myself in any meaningful way…
Hi Darling Ones, For someone who is essentially homebound, I’ve been busy and it feels like a lot has happened. I’m gonna give you the highlights. I’m working on something more in-depth marking 6 months of stroke survival, but until then . . . The new Morgan Wade record is kinda so-so, but that new Ratboys record is at least three fire emojis. The polyp I had removed turned out…
Hi Darling Ones, One minute it is the summer of 1997 and you’re sitting on the cool stone porch steps of your college best friend’s post-college rental smoking Camel Lights. It’s Sunday morning, though it still feels like Saturday because you haven’t gone to bed yet. It’s so late/early that you don’t even feel drunk anymore, but you were at some point in the evening. She’s propped a speaker from…
Hello Darling Ones, How are you? I’m good. Today I had a mass removed from my cervix. After the doctor plucked the offending mass from my body and pulled it out she asked me, “Do you want to see it?” “Kinda, yeah,” I said. “A lot of people are curious,” she said. It was not at all cute or funny like the word “polyp.” Instead, it was super gross and…
Hey Darling Ones, At the beginning of our friendship, Wolfdogg and I used to chat all the time on GChat. This was in the early aughts the glory days of message boards, Google Reader, and chatting. Since he worked third shift at the time, he’d be winding down for the day while I sat in my cube at the software company. My favorite thing to do was randomly type the…
