As I may have mentioned once or 816 times, I am not a morning person. So when my phone vibrated at 6:38 this morning, I really did want to light someone on fire. Lucky for…
Day 118 of 200: The Gravy Boat of My Dreams
If I were 3% weirder, I would have an area of Supergenius HQ dedicated to my gravy boat collection. Also, I would have an extensive gravy boat collection. I mean, I kinda do now. I…
Day 117 of 200: Working on Sunday Blues
I spent most of today working. When I wasn’t working I was letting my oven self-clean itself and hoping it didn’t set my house on fire. While the oven cleaned itself, I cleaned the oven…
Day 116 of 200: For the Honor of Grayskull
I spent most mornings in 1986 plopped on the floor in front of our Curtis Mathis TV trying to engorgelate my hair into gravity-defying shapes and whorls, but mostly just sitting on my ass watching…
Day 115 of 200: It Slipped My Mind
I woke up at 3:45 this morning to pee and I was ambling back to bed I thought, motherfuck, I forgot to blog last night. Before I drifted back to sleep I mentally shrugged. Oh…
Day 113 of 200: And Then I Wept Through a Sitcom
First of all, a woman on Supermarket Sweep just said she had a “six-month-year-old” and I wonder if it still haunts her lo these twenty-seven years. Second of all, I still feel like garbage and…
Day 112 of 200: Nation
The news stories call him Nate, but in my head he’s Nation, because that’s what Jodi Hanson and I always called him. His life has become a news story, and it’s awful. Nation was just…
Day 111 of 200: The Germs Continue to Win
I’m only a little bit pissed that I didn’t start this whole 200-day project a day earlier so that my 111th post would have happened yesterday on 11/11. Damnit. Of course, to be fair, I…
Day 110 of 200: Two Kinds of People
There are two kinds of people when it comes to getting sick — those who want to be nursed back to health by someone else and those who want to die alone in peace. I’m…
Day 109 of 200: 200 Words Worth of Crankiness
Today I am super cranky. I think it’s combination of not sleeping so well last night, super barky dogs, and working entirely too much over the last month or so. I feel like a really…