The COVID Diaries: Tales From a Pissed Off 6’5″ Woman

Hey Darling Ones,

My rage meltdown started last night. My friend EM was talking about a clothing store with inclusive sizing for all kinds of bodies. She specifically mentioned they had clothes for women who were big and tall. Only, they didn’t. The longest inseam I could find on the site was 32 and at the very least I need a 34.

“A lot of places think being tall stops at 6’3″,” I told her. I won’t bore you with my fashion woes again. I got my Stevie Nicks shirt and the one I’m wearing in the picture above which is my very favorite winter shirt for three reasons:

  1. The sleeves go all the way down to my wrists even when I extend my go-go-gadget arms to their full length
  2. It’s not so big around I feel like I’m wearing a tent
  3. The pattern and color makes it difficult to spot where I dropped peanut butter on myself

After we got off the phone I spent some time scrolling through TikTok. I’m sure it will come as no surprise to you that I’m frequently on tall people tiktok and also single tiktok. I mean, duh. But last night I had to quit tik-tokking after I hit two dudes in a row whose videos were basically, “I’m 6’3″ ladies, come love me.” And that was it. No mention of their astrological sign or interests or career. Just “I’m tall.”

This afternoon I was gonna TikTok and take a nap, but then I hit on about eight more of those kinds of videos in a row and I got so ragey my heart began to shake. That’s when I got up, took pictures of me standing in front of the 80-inch closet door and decided to complain.

First of all, I do not believe men when they say how tall they are. They are all liars, except for my friend Wolfdogg who is as tall as he says he is. I can’t remember what that is. Maybe 6’8″.

All the other men lie about their height and because they do, they expect that I am a liar too. The last guy I dated claimed to be 6’5″ and when we met I was all “either you’re a liar or I’m 6’7″.” Turns out he was a liar, and not just about his height.

I do not lie about my height. I have no reason to, it would get me literally nothing. It’s not like being a 6’5″ woman has been a great boon to my life. I have been fetishized or rejected due to my height more times than I can count. I get called intimidating on the reg, and if you want to see me get so frustrated I cry, let’s talk about general admission concerts. Being 6’5″ tall is a literal pain in my ass. Add to it that I’m fucking fat and I really won the genetic lottery now I didn’t I?

Am I angry about being a 6’5″ woman? No. There’s not a damn thing I can do about it. Might as well be angry at the sun for shining. I’ve long accepted that I’m never gonna fit.

However, I can be and am angry at the fucking double standard. Men can be all, here I am with my 75-inches of dad bod and beard and women are lined up around the block to date them based solely on those stats.

And here I am, 77 inches of fucking hilarity with pretty eyes, great breasts, financial independence, cooking skills for days, intelligence out the wazoo, and I can make cozy blankets with my own hands. And what do I get? Not even a shitty t-shirt because it wouldn’t fucking fit me anyway.

Grrr,
Jodi

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2 Comments

  1. PaygeM 01.Dec.20 at 9:47 am

    I feel a fraction of your pain as in the real world I’m considered tall. I sort of lie about my height as I’m 6′ 1/2″ and I round up to 6’1″ as I’ve always wanted to be taller (as you may know I’m only ‘average’ height for my family… LOL). Even my grandmother was taller than me… Anyway, moving to Florida was a godsend in the inseam department as I just wear shorts! I envy your ability to get away with 34″ inseams as I’m all legs i guess with 36-38″ so Layne Bryant’s tall for about 2-3 years in the early 2000’s was my favorite – soon after their “tall” wasn’t so tall anymore… My big complaint now is pockets since I despise wearing men’s shorts (which has been suggested to me numerous times – they fit horribly). Shirts – I’ve given up – Daisy Fuentes had some shirts 10 years ago that didn’t look like a tent on me – but like everything else in the this world that fits well and I like IT’S DISCONTINUTED a year later. I’m the one who lies about Wolfdogg’s height – I always say he’s 6’9″ because once long ago he was measured at 6′ 8 1/4″ so to me that’s more than 6’8″, so he’s 6′ 9″. I will always look up to my big brother… in more ways than one.

    Reply
    1. Jodi Chromey 01.Dec.20 at 10:26 am

      For someone as tall as I am, I have stumpy legs. My mom is 5’10” and I think her inseam is the same as mine. To make up for it, I have a torso as long as the Great Plains. I do vaguely remember that Lane Bryant era of actually long pants.

      But in general, yeah I hate wearing mens clothes. They never fit right because dudes don’t have hips or breasts. However, I do have pockets for days.

      Speaking of Wolfdogg, there was a time when Hannah was like 13 or so where she was convinced I was taller than he was. The horror!

      Reply

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