Hey Darling Ones, For a delightful change of pace I’m not going to complain about living in the Smelly Trashbags of America. However, if you’re wondering how I’m handling the imminent revocation of abortion access, I cried while singing along to Pat Benetar’s “Hit Me With Your Best Shot.” I was driving home from the grocery store singing my head off when the second verse came up. . . You come on with the come on, you don’t fight fair….
Hi Darling Ones, The worst part of living in a white supremacist capitalistic christian patriarchal oligarchy is that you’re expected to carry on like nothing is happening when something is happening all the time. And not like piddly navel-gazing petty drama shit. And not even serious, life-altering personal shit. But like catastrophic, apocalyptic, life-ending shit. It’s been happening off and on since like 2016, but has really pushed the pedal to the floor since 2020. Ok, the cruelty towards everyone…
Fucking A, Darling Ones, What the fuck is with this garbage country and the Supreme Court? WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK? Read the Politico story about the overturning of Roe v. Wade if you need to catch up. Do not tell me to calm down. Do not tell me that it’s a draft. For your own safety, do not tell me anything because I am incandescent with rage. I cannot comprehend the forced-birth movement at all. I know they call themselves…
Hi Darling Ones, Why is it that our grandest triumphs and greatest tragedies seem to go hand in hand? Do we need one to properly appreciate the other? Is this how we gain perspective? Should I start with the good news or the bad news? Probably the good since that has uncovered the bad. Remember my derelict ice maker that likes to break all the time and refuses to make ice for reasons that I cannot discern? And do you…
Dear Amy, Hi. Just so you know I’m writing to you specifically, let me quickly list all the Amys you are not. You are neither of the two tea lady Amys. You are not my college BFF Amy, my first college newspaper editor Amy, nor the college Amy who fucked that rando in my bed after a party I had at my place on Gilbert. You aren’t artist/musician Amy. You’re not Amy S. Amy O. or Amy J, from University…
Hi Darling Ones, After a seven-month absence I am very displeased to announce the return of my period. Six days ago. It’s still going strong, with zero signs of letting up. This is a real deal, crime scene in my underpants, cramps, cravings, and murder on my mind kind of period. Not the kind of spotty, wimpy, last gasps of an aging uterus my previous period was back in September. Instead, I’m dealing with the menstrual monkeyshines of a uterus…
