Hi Darling Ones,
I’m not going to apologize for the lack of updates because I am not sorry. Instead, I’m fucking depressed and kind of angry about it. The last two weeks have been a struggle and I’m too damn tired to put on my brave face. It’s a miracle that I can be tired at all because it seems like all I do is sleep.
Sleep is the by-product of the light-headed/panic attack cycle that started last week. It’s awful. The attacks are so bad I literally cannot see straight. The other night I was trying to take two of the “as needed” anxiety pills and I had to have BFK give them to me because I couldn’t tell if I had two or twelve in my hand.,
I’ve been lightheaded is long, I’m not sure I AM lightheaded anymore. The panic attacks still happen, though with less frequency.
Everything is garbage. My tens of thousands of dollars in medical debt is weighing on my mind. So is work, and the stuff I can’t get done. My vision continues to a nightmare and, according to the eye doctor, will be for a few months. My Floppy Scoops are super stiff and heavy.
Also? They’ve been fixing the roof on Supergenius HQ since eight this morning. I’m ready to jump out of my skin from all the banging and assorted racket. However, 1469 days ago I started learning Spanish on Duolingo because some Spanish-speaking roofers were having a grand old time and when I could understand someone asking where the boss was today I felt very smug. Totally worth it.
Anyway, I got nothing good to say. I’m miserable, lonely, and depressed. Pathetic.
I gave myself today as one last day to wallow. Tomorrow I gotta try something else because being cranky isn’t helping my mood or my condition.
A poor, unfortunate soul,
Fuuuuuu**, I’m really sorry. I’m still checking in via the blog to see how you are doing because I’ve been worried about you since the stroke. Healing from stuff like this is so unpredictable and frustrating. Is there a way to chip in for medical bills or just for stuff you want?
Thank you for checking in. I appreciate it. Soon there’ll be a way to pitch in. My family is working on it.