free the corndogs

since i wasted the afternoon away gabbing with sister #2, we decided to hit Perkins for dinner and then the Super T. when the waitress came to take our order, Max let out a shriek.

“they don’t have corndogs,” he said.
“a lot of people are upset,” leah, our waitress said.
“what else do you want?” sister #2 asked.
“nothing,” he said.
“nothing?” she asked.
“all i ever wanted was a corndog!” he wailed.

eventually he caved in and went with the grilled cheese. but he wasn’t about to let the corndog issue drop.

“why did they get rid of the corndog?” max asked.
“it was probably some stupid guy in marketing’s idea,” stink, max’s dad, said.

[edited out: the ensuing discussion between stink and sister #2 about stink assuming it was a man in marketing who made the decision and not a woman]

“i know!” max said. “i will start a petition, they will have to bring back the corndog.”
“that’s an excellent idea,” sister #2.
“do you have a piece of paper?” he asked.
“no, but aunt jodi does,” she said.
“how do you know?” he asked.
“she always does.”

so i ripped out two pieces of paper from the notebook i carry in my bag. while jaycie set to work drawing a unicorn and a rainbow, max began scribbling furiously with the red crayon.

“what are you making there boo?” i asked.
“it’s bloodshot eyes,” sister #2 said.
“oh,” i said.
“should i draw fangs and devil horns?” max asked.
“probably,” i said.
“i know and i’ll have steam coming out of the ears!”

he went back to drawing.

“why’d you put a smile on him?” sister #2 asked.
“oh rats,” he said.
“that’s ok,” i said. “just have him stick his tongue out.”
“good idea aunt jodi.” he drew a tongue. “does he look angry?”
“yes, he does.” i said.

then he flipped over the paper, and as i spelled each word he wrote:

then he made everyone at the table sign it.
“i’m not signing it.” jaycie slid the paper back towards him and folded her arms across her chest. “i don’t care about corndogs.”
“MOOOOOOMmmMMM,” he said. “jaycie doesn’t care about corndogs! now they’ll never bring them back.”
“don’t worry max,” i said. “i’ll tell everyone on the internet and they’ll support your corndog petition.”
“good,” max said. “people should care about corndogs.”

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  1. Damon 01.Sep.05 at 12:05 am

    Please bring back the cornd ogs…
    …doesn’t anyone ever think of the CHILDREN!?!?!?

    (including adult children-at-heart who enjoy a good cornd og now and then!)

  2. dietcokegurl 01.Sep.05 at 7:01 am

    Thank goodness there are rabble-rousers like Max around to raise awareness of this important issue.

    Corn dogs (or cornd ogs as it were) are a legitimate food source and what on earth is the state fair doing NOT having something that comes naturally on a stick? Crazy.

  3. dietcokegurl 01.Sep.05 at 7:02 am

    Oh, it wasn’t the state fair, Perkins…but that’s even worse. Tell Max to send his petition to Perkins Inc.

  4. zook 01.Sep.05 at 9:45 am

    Dammit yes! Save the horndogs! The world needs horndogs…



    Yeah, we can save those too I guess…

  5. NBFB 01.Sep.05 at 11:46 am

    Why bring back corndogs when you could be “rabble rousing” on pronto pups instead? Getting them to add pronto pups to the menu, now there’s something to be proud of! (or, I mean, there’s something of which to be proud.)

    Pronto Pups > corndogs

  6. jodi 01.Sep.05 at 11:49 am


    pronto pups WRONG!

    pronto pups

  7. NBFB 02.Sep.05 at 9:02 am

    Yes, let’s.

    Except, it’s absolutely INSANE right now. Our entire building is in the middle of packing up and moving. (we move out on the 9th and move in on the 12th) I’m training for the marathon, trying to remodel a bathroom, and oh yeah, the FREAKING BABY is on the way too. And, AND, ALL AT THE SAME TIME. Cripes. But in all seriousness, I would like to attempt a meeting if at all possible. By the way, the Red Robin where we dined previously was razed Monday.

  8. UH 02.Sep.05 at 12:43 pm

    What’s a pronto pup?

  9. Wendy 05.Sep.05 at 9:57 pm

    What on Earth? I will tell everyone I know about the Corn Dog Petition. Why should Max be forced to eat GRILLED CHEESE? Unbelievable. Please add my name to the petition!


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