bee stings are not fun. being rushed to the hospital because you can’t breathe is even less fun. yesterday i was being a good samaritan (and trying to con my parents into buying me a dell notebook) by helping paint the shed. i felt something in my hair and went to brush it away. mr. bee was not too pleased with that and stung me right behind my right ear.
yikes! i am allergic to bee stings. well, everyone is allergic to bee stings i think. but i had a funky reaction and immediately started swelling up and having problems breathing. i didn’t get to ride in an ambulance though. my parents drove me to the hospital. they gave me a shot and made me lay in bed while they pumped me full of fluids. i guess i had a mild ana-something reaction. i guess if you have really bad ana-whazzat shock you can die in like 10 seconds. doc told me i should carry a bee sting kit with me all the time.
“so, can i tell people i almost died?” i asked the doc.
“sure, but you didn’t almost die,” he said.
“well, yeah. i coulda died though, right?” i asked.
“you can die anytime you get out of bed in the morning. everyday we almost die, ” he said.
“yeah, but i was closer to almost dying than most,” i argued.
“maybe,” he said, “but seemingly healthy people drop dead everyday.”
“so, will you give me a doctor’s note that says i almost died today?”
“why not? nobody is gonna believe me if i don’t have a doctor’s note. if you give me a note i bet i can con the tech doofs into getting me flowers.”
“you didn’t almost die. the closest you came to dying was driving in the car on the way over here. you had a mild ana-fluflure reaction.”
“ya know doc, you really aren’t a lot of fun.”
“well jodi, you are by far the strangest patient i’ve had in a long time.”
so i didn’t get the note, or the notebook computer. but i do have a huge bump behind my ear that i am making everyone i know touch.