Dear Darling Ones,

For the first half of my career I worked on and off with a woman named Linda who used to ask her clients & contractors “What keeps you up at night?” She was asking it to find out what was stressing people out about work so she could figure out how to help. I rarely answered her honestly because work only kept me up for a few years in the early aughts.

The things that keep me up at night usually include: agonizing why I didn’t make out with that guy* when I had the opportunity; shitty things I did in the 90s when I was a complete asshole; and why doesn’t he love me.

This morning as I was getting ready for the day, I reached for my brush and wondered if my mullet had gotten to the point where I could wear my hair in pigtails. While I was brushing my hair I joked to myself, “I should write about this. I bet people are losing sleep over what my hair looks like now.” It’s been ten months since I stopped shaving my head and I’m sure y’all are dying for an update.

In my head you, Darling Ones, are often Teddy from “Bob’s Burgers” kind of obsessed with the mundanities in my life in a kind of endearing way. In this scenario, I too am Teddy, sharing the mundanities of my life that absolutely nobody, not one single person, cares about even a little bit.

So yes, this blog is nothing more than the two parts of my personality having a conversation. Thanks for joining us.

Back to the hair situation. I love wearing my hair in pigtails even if it does make me look like a giant Cabbage Patch Kid mated with a mean turtle. Matters are not helped by the fact that I’m wearing my spare specs because I decided to replace the lenses in my beloved tortiseshells.** I think these spare specs make me look babyish, if babies have dark circles under their eyes and wrinkles around their mouth and also grey hair (which is kinda coppery because of the colored shampoo).

For the record, yesterday was a good hair day and every time I say myself in the mirror I was all, “Hey there, sexy Jackson Browne hair twin with the nice rack.”

Sleep well tonight, Darling Ones,
Jodi
 
*This is a solid gold go-to that has spanned many men and literal decades. Being a coward is always good source for late night angst.

 
**I also bought two pairs of cheapie glasses off the internet. One of the pairs is yellow because Yellow Period, which my sisters kept calling my “yellow phase.” I corrected them every time because I am a pedantic nerd.