The COVID Diaries: Gemini Sun, Anxiety Rising, Aries Moon

Hi Darling Ones,

I must confess I’m operating on only four hours of sleep today which is half the necessary daily amount I require to be a rational, functioning adult.

Wanna know what else I need to confess? I’m a little freaking out about COVID II: The Delta Boogaloo. This time around I’m more an ocean of anger with less despair. I don’t worry so much about my certain death if I were to catch it. Thanks, vaccine! Though I do have a ton of anxiety about The Youth being unvaxed and exposing my not-the-healthiest parents. I tentatively broached the subject once with them and it did not end well. When Sister #2 is here next week she’s going to tell them that if the progression continues they cannot be around our parents. So that’s something to look forward to.

I’m really afraid again and that makes me angry. BFK had to cancel tomorrow’s CSA lunch plans because one of her unvaxed employees was exposed. Things are being cancelled (not the MN State Fair unfortunately which is asking people to “do what is right” as though the Delta variant isn’t the #1 example that people will not do what is right) again. Every day I swear I read a story about a member of some band getting COVID or someone dropping out of a tour/festival/show (Neil Young, Stevie Nicks). And my brain cannot even contemplate how bad it’s going to get once all the kids go back to school.

It’s getting dark in here again.

When I started this letter I was really in a downward spiral, but my friend EM called and talked me off the ledge using logic and hope. My contribution was basically, “I don’t know if I can go five weeks without seeing another human again.” I barely survived it last time. I don’t know if I’m strong enough to do it again.

Like I said, I’m scared and angry and I’m not ready to be back here again.

This sucks,
Jodi

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