To Whom it May Concern:
It has recently come to our attention we are in need of a refresher on the procedures & policies that govern this organization.
While you are encouraged to be sassy, opinionated, and argumentative, you cannot be abusive. What constitutes abuse is solely up to the discretion of the management. Being a first-time or long-time reader does not entitle you to be abusive.
In fact, we’re sorry to say, it entitles you to nothing. Nada. Zilch. Zero. Zip. This website is free. It does not ask you to pay a subscription nor does it serve you advertisements. It solely exists for one woman to share her thoughts with the world.
Being a reader of this website also does not entitle you to dictate what is written on the website, nor when/if/in what manner the author chooses to share her life. She does not need to justify why she chooses to write about a subject on a certain day, though she frequently does because readers have been known to jump to conclusions, draw assumptions, cast aspersions, and the like.
In fact, one reader who was so bad at the internet she contacted the man the author was dating as well as one of the author’s friends to tell them the author was suicidal (based on the reader’s interpretation of blog posts) and ought to be committed. Because that one reader, twenty years ago, was so bad at the internet the author made the choice to not share her romantic life on this website until the romance was over. You have her to thank for never getting any salacious details.
The Management would also like to remind those whom it may concern that you are under no obligation to read every (or any) word written on this website. As far as we know, there is no law dictating reading of this website. This is not required reading for the SATs, the ACTs, the GREs, the LSAT, nor the MCAT. There will not be a pop quiz on the themes and symbolism of I Will Dare dot com at the gates of heaven should you arrive there. Maybe in Hell. We’re not sure.
We hope these clarifications enrich your experience of I Will Dare dot com. We will return you to your regularly scheduled programming once the author has had more than four hours of sleep.
If you have any questions or concerns, please don’t hesitate to ask.
The Management of Supergenius, Inc.
Jodi Chromey, President
Wendell G. Hobbes, VP of Global Sales & Cuteness
P.S. I know you should not respond to critics, but I’ve been arguing with that comment every time I close my eyes. It’s why I failed at sleeping last night and instead cried while listening to “Midnight Organ Fight” until 4 a.m. I’m a little salty I have allowed this to take up so much of my time and emotional energy. Now that I’ve gotten it off my chest I’m really hoping I get to sleep tonight.
P.P.S. My community came out hard for me yesterday and that was wonderful, though I’m angry I needed it at all. It’s a kick in the teeth to be told nobody will ever love you while also being told you are shallow and talentless, even when it’s coming from someone you don’t like or respect. Anyway, I love you all. Thank you for reading and not being scary weirdos.