Dear Darling Ones,
As our time together under the umbrella of the COVID Diaries comes to a close, you should know there were no tears in the typing of this post. Thus far there have been no tears in the living of this day.
There was supposed to be a new plant delightfully called Job’s Biblical Tears and it was going to live nestled between Duke and McNamara* on the coffee table. Alas, the plant shop was out of Job’s Biblical Tears and so instead of spending $26 on my birthday gift I only spent $16. Seems fitting because I only really care about this birthday $16 worth.
Ever since my 40th I have cared less and less about my birthday, which, if you know me, is uncharacteristic. I’m the woman with the epic birthdays to compensate for her youngest sister being born on her 8th birthday. I used to think people who did not care or who were cranky about their birthdays were weirdos. Now, I don’t want to expend the energy to make a big deal about it. All I want is to accept well wishes and gifts without any effort at all on my part. And if there are no well wishes or gifts, that’s okay too. It doesn’t matter. I’ll be 49 regardless.
Trying to be a lowkey birthday person is much harder than you would think.
Last night I joked how for Sister #4’s birthday I was gonna give her the day and tell her she can have it all to herself now.
My family laughed, because I am funny, but I’m a little serious. They expect me to make a big deal, and because they do not listen to me, they think I still care about a birthday fuss. While we sat in my garage watching Maxwell grill chicken, I told The Youths & The Olds our next dinner would be on my birthday (by our every other week tradition and not by my planning), and I wanted to know what they would like for dinner.
“It’s your birthday, you should have what you want,” Sonya said.**
“For my birthday I don’t want to make a decision,” I said.
She nodded at me. “Fair.”
Sigh, so it was decided that for my birthday I will procure all the food and prepare it. While I feel a little salty about this as I type, I guess I’m getting exactly what I want, no big deal for my birthday. This will be like every family dinner I host, and so I better stop being a big giant baby about it. One would think getting what you asked for would be more satisfying. It is not. Zero stars. More reflection on what I want is required. Ugh.
Anyway, I’m a little in love with my new fern, Chandler. She’s a beauty. Ferns are so cute.
P.S. I am still listening to The Marfa Tapes on repeat and felt so guilty about it that I bought the record. So if you wanna come over to listen to it & hear me go on and on you can after Wednesday because I’ll be fully vaccinated and the record should be here by then.
P.P.S. I am utterly exhausted today. Being social kicks my ass. I did nothing today besides listen to The Marfa Tapes and finishing reading the adorable rom-com. I need to get my social muscles back into shape because super-extrovert Sisters #2 & #3 are invading Supergenius HQ on June 20th (and I cannot wait, this is the longest I’ve ever gone without seeing Sister #2 in my entire life) and if I don’t get my tolerance up they will kill me with their extrovertedness.
*I named these plants after the Heathers Duke, Chandler, and McNamara from the movie “Heathers.” I know Duke & Chandler’s pot colors are wrong, but shut up. I had to explain this reference to you so you do not get to judge. Whatever green thing I bring in next will be named either Sawyer or Veronica. I’m not sure. I have to meet it first.
**In case you forgot, Sonya is Maxwell’s archeology-major girlfriend of threeish years, who we all adore, and who had her very first gin & tonic yesterday thanks to me. I’m so proud!