The COVID Diaries: Tonight Makes Love to All Your Kind

Will you be my Valentine, Darling Ones?

Whenever I think of Valentine’s Day I think of one from 1994. It was late on that day and my friend Baltus found me sitting alone in the newspaper office. I must have looked sad because he cocked his head at me, smiled, and said, “It’s okay, Chromes, I will be your valentine.”

It was the sweetest thing ever, made even sweeter by the fact that he said it to cheer me up because neither of us had romantic feelings toward each other at all.

I always have mixed feelings about Valentine’s Day. I have loved it and loathed in equal measure throughout my life. This year, I don’t really care either way. I think 2020 sucked all the care I had for any holidays right out of me. They’re all dumb excuses capitalism uses to make us buy more crap. I like to buy crap because I am sad and not because some dumb holiday told me to. Take that capitalism!

Since I Will Dare dot com has been a lot of sadness and gloom due to of our unending pandemic, my inherent lonesomeness, February, mercury in retrograde, and the cowards that inhabit our government, I’m gonna share with you some things I love.

  • Valentine” by The Replacements. Obviously.
  • This cabbage tree.
  • When I sit up in bed in the morning Wendell, my cat, jumps up next to me and rolls on his back so he’s resting against my thigh with his paws in the air. That means it’s time for the Belly Rub Agenda. This is when I sing/chant “Belly rub agenda, belly rub agenda, oh-ho-ho-ho, belly rub agenda” while rubbing his belly. I sing the oh-ho-ho part in a deep voice. We do this every day.
  • When people have really strong opinions about pens (or snack foods).
  • My twitter feed. I only follow like 200 people. They are some very high quality humans and the other day the dudes kept talking about Matt Dillon. My Matt Dillon and that made me very happy.
  • Whenever someone starts a conversation with “I’ve been listening to. . .” Sign me up. I do want to hear all your thoughts on music. I’m not kidding. This isn’t sarcasm. However, I also love to tease people about their taste in music so there’s that.
  • Poetry. I’m not sure if I should call it love yet, maybe a serious crush. I’ve been inviting more poetry into my life since I fell in love with the “lovely as lust, but fickle as the moon” line. Today it was this poem by pavanna reddy that got me.
  • Radishes. I cannot get enough. I eat more radishes than one probably should and I only feel a little guilty about it. See also: breakfast burritos, jalapeños, and doughnuts.
  • The Whole of the Moon by The Waterboys. I have to listen to this song at least once a day. Usually twice.
  • When someone is super passionate about some specific thing and they give you a mini-lecture about the thing and then stop and apologize when they realized they got a little carried away. Ugh. My favorite.
  • This sandalwood & whiskey candle from a local candlemaker.
  • “I read that book you mentioned/suggested/were talking about.” Thrills me to the moon every time.
  • Every time a woman gets excited about pockets. As someone whose had to wear men’s clothes for most of my life I had no idea that pockets were such a thing.
  • Orange soda pop.
  • When people know all the things about their astrological sign. It’s so adorable.
  • Even though I don’t care about either of these, I love when men really love baseball or when women really love Joan Didion. I find this endlessly charming. Only baseball and Didion. It doesn’t work for other sports or authors. I don’t know why.
  • Anytime anyone says “I thought about you. . .” because I am fragile and think I’m forgettable.

If you were a pill, I’d take a handful at my will,

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