The COVID Diaries: If Prue Mated with a Mean Turtle

So Darling Ones,

My brain has decided that today marks 100 days since I last shaved my head and since I ended my last romantic relationship. I’m about 68% sure these two things did not happen on the same day. I have no idea what day these events actually took place, but 100 days seems like it could be a thing.

So, you’re probably wondering what hair looks like 100-days post shave. Here’s your answer: a nightmare. Last night when I mentioned my confidence is a little low, it’s all due to vanity. My hair looks weird and not like I did it on purpose because I’m cool & edgy weird, but uhh does she not own a mirror weird. And, much like Jo in Little Women, my hair is my one beauty.

Incidentally, my new hair goal is Winona in “Reality Bites,*” but grey. With my ultimate hair goal to Belinda Carlisle in the “Mad About You” video, but grey. And while we’re at it, I would also like her nose, lips, and chin. Thank you.

Unfortunately, I’m smack dab in the middle of if Prue from “Great British Bake Off” mated with a mean turtle stage, which is, shockingly, worse than the if Biff mated with a mean turtle stage.

Sigh. Belinda doesn’t have a nose that makes her look like a mean turtle.

Anyway, today was as stupid and boring as yesterday was. However, I did a bunch of work and I also cleaned my oven, because, why not?

Only fourteen more days until I interact with another human again!


*Yesterday the song “Tempted” by Squeeze shuffled up and when he got to the part about “I bought a novel, some perfume, a fortune all for you”, I thought to myself, “I would really love those two things as gifts from a man.” Because one, yes everything is about me and two I’m one lonely motherfucker.

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