Oh, Darling Ones, I just died on the couch tonight.

It was boredom. Boredom killed me and now I’m a bored ghost haunting the same fucking couch I died on.

Boredom is my #1 enemy. Sometimes I get so bored I have panic attacks. These attacks are usually induced by really long guitar solos at rock & roll shows. I’ve had panic attacks thanks to Elvis Costello, Wilco, and Low. This is why I hate masturbatory guitar solos they hit all the boredom receptors in my brain and then I panic because I can’t escape. Also, they feel like a personal attack because shouldn’t Nels Cline and Elvis know that I can’t do really long guitar solos? I mean, come on!

I had my first boredom induced panic attack when I was like sixteen or seventeen stuck at the shittiest pizza place (J’s Pizza) in Blaine with my parents and some friends of theirs. Only, we didn’t call them panic attacks back then. I think I just called it the worst thing ever.

Part of the boredom is due to a book that was kinda boring yet I wanted to see how it ended (Days of Distraction by Alexandra Chang). I finished it when I probably should have put it down.

Another part of the boredom is due to deleting all the dating apps. They were making me sad and frustrated, and being lonely is better than being sad. Plus, my ego is fragile right now and I don’t have the self-confidence at the moment for being ghosted by someone who doesn’t want to hear all my fun facts about whatever I’m obsessed with that hour/day/week. Learning all the random fun facts I know is literally the best part of dating me.

And right now, I got no obsessions. At least none that come with fun facts I can share with you, Darling Ones & Potential Crushes. Someone I love is going through some turmoil, and while I hate to be vague it’s not my story to share. However, it is weighing heavy on my mind. Hopefully, it will be resolved one way or another at the end of the week and I can move on to what is going to be a new/old obsession: Jeff Tweedy. I downloaded his book about writing one song as research before I re-write The Beast in 2021. Try to contain your excitement.

Did you just die of boredom too? Sorry.
Jodi