The COVID Diaries: Sadness Garden

Hello Darling Ones,

Before I opened up Gladys, I was merrily TikTokking my eyes out but now I’m salty. I hadn’t TikTokked all day. Yesterday I had a creative breakthrough on a site I was working on and I wanted to take advantage of the momentum, so I worked most of today.

So in tonight’s TikTok adventures I landed in Tall People TikTok. It was partly unsettling — very tall (like my height and taller) young women perched precariously atop very outlandish high heels — and partly annoying. While I recognize I’m super biased, I just cannot with the women who are 5’10” and whine about how they are giant monsters. They can fuck all the way off with that nonsense. FIVE FOOT TEN? Are you kidding me? I was 5’10” when I was ten. TEN! And sure, they might have been 5’10” at ten too, but the they stopped growing and just shut up.

I even get a little salty at the six-footers, but I realize I’m being totally irrational at that point.

Anyway, I didn’t come here to whine about being an actual giant monster. No. I came here to tell you about my Sadness Garden.

Remember how in one of the world wars (I’m a bad student of history) they planted victory gardens for reasons? I mean I think they did. Aww, fuck, I need to go google. Okay, according to wikipedia they planted victory gardens during both world wars to supplement rations and boost morale.

I started my Sadness Garden to boost morale too! So far it is failing miserably. I am sad a lot. Also angry. And lonely. It sucks!

But I do have some pretty nifty plants now. I had three to begin with — Muriel, a golden pothos I’ve been keeping alive since I got it when my Grammu died in 2003; a weird tree-looking succulent I got for my birthday a few years ago and that Maxwell brought back from the brink of death; and Trevour, a meyer lemon tree Sister #3 got me for my birthday the day Prince died. Prince died in April, my birthday is in June. Also, incidentally, all of Trevour’s leaves randomly fell off the year Sister #3 jumped ship.

Then in April or May I started randomly buying plants whenever I was super sad. I got the tradescantia zebrina. Then the weeping fig tree and the peace lily. Then the red prayer plant. And this week the pot of lavender came. So much beauty. Zero boosted morale.

I didn’t come up with the name Sadness Garden until this morning, when I came downstairs and grinned at the three beauties taking up residence on my dining room table. I was all, “oh, that is a lovely sadness garden.” I’m really thinking the garden needs some kind of fern or one of those snake laurentii plants. Maybe aloe? Oh how my garden will grow. . .

Maybe tomorrow I will talk about all my Sadness Records.


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