Thank Goodness for St. Joseph

Even though I have not forgiven Coca-Cola or myself (because I only drink maybe two cans of soda a month) for the discontinuation of my beloved Diet Coke with Lime, I have recently dipped my toe back into the flavored Diet Coke ocean. It’s an ocean because there a floppity-jillion varieties of Diet Coke. Thus far, I have tried three: ginger lime (meh), feisty cherry (super barf), and Zesty Blood Orange (surprisingly pleasant).

I like the Zesty Blood Orange flavor because, as I mentioned on the twitters, it tastes like a combination of regular diet coke and St. Joseph Aspirin for Children. Trust me it’s good.

You should also know that as a I toddler I once overdosed on St. Joseph Aspirin for Children because that shizz was delish. I ate an entire bottle of that stuff. I think I have vague memories of doing this. Climbing onto the bathroom sink in the trailer we lived in in Blaine until I was five. I remember sliding open the mirror-fronted medicine cabinet and just popping those suckers like candy.

I don’t remember how my mom busted me, maybe I confessed. Maybe she caught me in the act. According to her she rushed me to the hospital to get my stomach pumped. Lucky? for me I barfed my brains out before they could do any of the pumping.

As my mom tells the story once we got home she took the rest of the bottle or maybe there was another bottle? Anyway she took a bottle of the aspirin, shook it in my face, and asked me if I wanted more. I said, yes. Because, as I said before, that shizz is delish. Somehow my mom did not murder me on the spot, and as far as I know I did not grow up with a bottle children’s aspirin lodged inside my body.

My lesson was not learned, and still some 43 years later, goes unlearned because I like this Zesty Blood Orange Diet Coke only because it reminds me of that aspirin.

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