1. Buy a clock that you’ve been longing for and immediately hang it on the wall. Smile every time you look up because the clock makes you happy and reminds you of your childhood.
2. Send pictures of your clock to friends and family bask in their reinforcement of your good taste in clocks.
3. Barf so much bile onto a friend who dare make a comment about how Jason Isbell is a man that you like and therefore #NotAllMen hardy hardee harhar. Quickly list off the first three sexual assault stories of your women friends that pop into your head. Add one of your own.
4. Avoid Twitter.
5. In the middle of a long bath decide that maybe reading Lolita hot on the heels of The Real Lolita: The Kidnapping of Sally Horner and the Novel That Scandalized the World is not a great idea when you already want to throw away all of the men. All.
6. Watch the Emmys and burst into tears when Fonzie wins an award for a show you’ve never heard of because you love Fonzie so much.
7. Text a Dawson’s Creek gif to Blah-Blah-Blahler and laugh out loud. That feels really good.
8. Look at the clock and smile.