Things we can be done with now: A list by someone who is cranky

Consider this a follow-up to How to Succeed in Blogging without Really Trying and How to Annoy the Hell out of Everyone on the Internet.

  • Minimalist Posters (see also: here, here, here, and here)
  • Bitching about Justin Bieber. Every time someone complains about Bieber or claims to have never heard of him all I hear is “I am old. Damn kids and their crazy rock & roll music. That Elvis is dangerous. Them Beatles should cut their hair. Bahhh . . . I hate things that bring people joy.”
  • Tweeting about needing more followers
  • Not using quotation marks in dialog. We get it. Your lack of punctuation means you’re edgy. Thanks for making your story/book more difficult to read, I really appreciate that.
  • The abject sexism in advertising blogs.
  • The Jersey Shore.
  • Top book lists that only feature one female author (or in this case four women out of thirty spots).
  • Randomly tweeting/facebooking song lyrics without context after the age of 16.
  • From Barrett: Posting a list of the Top 45 Whatevers, putting each item on a separate page so that we click through 45 pages of your website, thus driving up your numbers.

I reserve the right to add to this list as more come to me and/or really good ones are added in the comments.

(Visited 13 times, 1 visits today)

10 Comments

  1. Steve 08.Sep.10 at 5:40 pm

    I’m probably not going to stop doing that last one, despite my undying respect for you. Sorry.

    Reply
  2. Jodi 08.Sep.10 at 5:51 pm

    It’s okay. I will continue to make fun of you for it despite my undying respect for you.

    Reply
  3. Barrett Chase 08.Sep.10 at 7:59 pm

    Posting a list of the Top 45 Whatevers, putting each item on a separate page so that we click through 45 pages of your website, thus driving up your numbers.

    Reply
  4. Jodi 08.Sep.10 at 8:01 pm

    I’m adding that one to the list right now. I fucking hate that. A lot of times I won’t click the list.

    Reply
  5. Kevin Fenton 09.Sep.10 at 8:08 am

    What? A barely pubescent boy is groomed, packaged and marketed to barely pubescent girls? By the ghost of David Cassidy, there were no such vulgarities in the by-now entirely photo-shopped days of my youth.

    Reply
  6. Jodi 09.Sep.10 at 9:19 am

    Hotrod, I’d also like to submit. . .blogs that look like the one you just linked to. Awful. So awful.

    Reply
  7. Bonny 09.Sep.10 at 11:21 am

    Jodi, there’s a lot to love about you, and in the long list I could compile is your regard for punctuation. To me, and I’m older than dirt, one of the points of writing is to make your piece understood. Commas, semi’s, ?, !, etc. etc. should serve to make the writing understandable.

    I wish you could have seen me throw that first Cormac McCarthy book into the wall.

    And why don’t people know the diff between “lose” and “loose”? Or “chose” and “choose”? And that an apostrophe indicates possession? Or lordy.

    Reply
  8. david 16.Sep.10 at 1:58 pm

    Agreed on all counts.

    Reply
  9. UH 16.Sep.10 at 8:12 pm

    Can I add something to the list? When I ask for a Coke at a restaurant and the waitperson says “Is Pepsi OK?”

    Because it’s not OK. It’s really, really not.

    Reply

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