How to annoy the hell out of everyone on the Internet: A follow-up

This a crabby, bitchy follow-up to How to Succeed in Blogging without Really Trying, and inspired in part by my own ire (I’ve been surfing a lot lately looking for blog topics for work) and this tweet from Barrett.

  • Truncate your RSS Feed. Advertise in your RSS Feed while truncating it. Post only headlines in your RSS Feed
  • Snap To previews. Are they paying you for that shit?
  • Make the top half of your website, the part that fills the entire screen of a small laptop one giant image that doesn’t do anything, and make visitors spend a minute or so figuring out to scroll down for content.
  • Tweet 7 – 15 times in a row, so that no matter what sort of Twitter client someone uses your annoying Mad Men avatar is all they see. Really, if you have that much to say at once, get a fucking blog.
  • Post a Facebook status that you’ve seen as 10 5 somebody else’s status.
  • Live Tweet anything.
  • Post whiny, pointless lists that make you seem smug and superior.
  • Use the word woot.
  • A Flash site, really? What is this 2002? Knock it off already (and, oddly enough advertising agencies are the worst offenders of this nonsense).
  • Endlessly tweet your four-square check-ins. I like you, but I don’t care where you are every second of the day.
  • Resize my browser when I got your site.

Feel free to add your own.

(Visited 25 times, 1 visits today)

7 Comments

  1. Aaron 10.Dec.09 at 12:55 pm

    I love it.

    Reply
  2. Jodi 10.Dec.09 at 12:59 pm

    Thank you. I’m waiting to get kicked off the Internet for being a crabby ol’ bitch.

    Reply
  3. tam 10.Dec.09 at 2:11 pm

    Uh-oh…

    I’ve been known to live tweet hockey games, tweet a few times in a several minute span, and I use the word “w00t” (yes, with the annoying zeros).

    Does this mean you don’t love me anymore? *grin*

    Reply
  4. christa 10.Dec.09 at 2:59 pm

    Holy Crap! Barrett just referenced No. 9 almost verbatim about 10 minutes ago while looking at a Web site of a local ad agency.

    Reply
  5. david 10.Dec.09 at 4:34 pm

    I would add having sponsored Tweets in your Twitter feed (I just unfollowed two people this morning for that).

    Reply
  6. Barrett Chase 11.Dec.09 at 3:14 am

    Even in 2009, you still encounter ads that obscure the text you’re trying to read. That has to be one of the worst offenses I can think of. Also: videos that start playing automatically, obscure and “arty” navigation that’s difficult to figure out, horizontal scrolling, and top 100 lists that require hitting “next page” 17 times to get to #1.

    I also hate the new trend of having information in video form only with no viable text option. Listen: there is no real way to “scan” video for useful information. You either watch it or you don’t. 99% of the time, I just won’t.

    Reply
  7. Jodi 11.Dec.09 at 2:07 pm

    I can’t believe I didn’t think of informational video content. I hate it too. I’m not an online video watcher really. Something has to be praised and linked to about 66 times before I’d deign to watch it.

    Reply

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.