- Going back to work after having a week off blows. Hard.
- After reading The Gum Thief I have convinced myself that I have spleen problems.
- I am not sure where a spleen is located but I have decided mine is about five inches under my left breast.
- Al, the cutest girl on earth™, is going to have a baby in a few weeks. I try not to think about what Hell, Inc. will be like without her for three or four months. I suspect my anxiety might be affecting my spleen.
- Yes, my torso is roughly 34 inches long.
- I am having a Web browser conundrum. Safari kinda blows but Firefox on the Mac has decided to crash every 43 minutes. What is a girl to do? Swearing doesn’t seem to be the solution.
- All the computer crap being marketed for the pre-potty-trained crowd kind of creeps me out.
- However, playing Wow Wow Wubbzy with my nephew Liam is just about the most fun I can have on the Internet
- I’ve been doing some thinking about men and relationships and that never leads to any good. Mostly what I have discovered is that I don’t do very much thinking about men or relationships lately and I am not sure why. Mostly I don’t think that I miss the relationships but just the sex. I think I might be broken somehow.
- Oh, just typing that last one made my stomach burn a little. It’s probably caused by my defective spleen (the burning not the not-thinking).
- I was digging around in the iwilldare.com archives this weekend and am convinced the only thing I ever wrote about in 2002 and 2003 and part of 2004 was grocery shopping and how much I hated it. Someone should have punched me in the throat to get me to stop.
- My story “Rocket Science” is being workshopped in class on Wednesday. Oh, you’re taking a class? you ask. Yes, yes I am. I don’t write about it because class and I are not getting along. Nobody ever talks except for me and the Weapons of Mass Garrulousness and the Teacher Dude.
- I think I have run out of things to whine about which means it’s probably time for me to go read All Over But the Shouting because it makes me happy.
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Every woman needs a man like Data the Android. He’s been programmed to please a woman in thousands of different ways AND he has an OFF SWITCH. Sounds perfect doesn’t he? He even doubles as a life-preserver in the event you fall into deep water. I think you’re not broken.
Okay, tears are streaming from laughter at the “Weapons of Mass Garrulousness”.
And I talk!! When I’m there…
I knew you’d like that one. I’ve been wanting to pull it out for a week or so now, except Garrulousness is hard to pronounce.
It caught me totally off guard–glad I didn’t have kids in the room. OH, and I’m so fucking slow because I just got the acronym too. God, you’re funny. Has anyone ever told you that? Because you should get an award just for this one comment–I can’t get over it. I’m so glad I know you.
Yesterday our PR Princess told me I should take my comedy show on the road. I’m not sure if she was being facetious or not.
I’m not sure it would work as well. No one but us knows how funny Weapons of Mass Garrulousness really is. Same with some of your other hilarious comments. And I would hate for that level of humor to be wasted on people who don’t get it.
I didn’t get it at first either. And yes, you are very very funny. But I talk ,too!! Too much,I think. Peabo, you gotta show up to get credit for talking. I’m sulking cuz you skipped my workshop.
I think I am just pouting because last week was so bad. We workshopped your story, Jags, and without Johnny the Greek and Peabo it was just me, Garrulousness and Teacher Dude. It sucked ass.
I am soooo sorry I missed your workshop 🙁 I will make up for it with copious comments that will, no doubt, inspire you to revise your story into a pulitzer prize winning example of the craft.
I will be there this week, but still no Grumpy’s ’cause my dog is disabled.