Arguments I have with myself as if I were my own nagging spouse

  • Why do you always leave the cupboard doors open? Are they too heavy for you to close? Too busy to take 0.3 seconds out of your life to just shut the damn door? The next time I slam my head into one of those cupboard doors I am going to march right out here and kick your ass.
  • Leaving your dirty clothes in the bathroom is gross. The laundry room is like half a step away from the bathroom, just throw them in there where they belong. In fact, I think if you worked at it, you could actually throw your dirty clothes into the laundry room without even leaving the bathroom!
  • The bathroom downstairs is for guests, not a mail repository. Why do you have to open all the mail while you use the bathroom, that’s stupid. Can’t you just wait that extra three seconds it takes you to pee to see how much the electricity bill is? Also that box of your new business cards has been sitting on the floor next to the sink in there for like a week. That’s gross.
  • The Rolling Stones? Again? You’ve been listening to them for over two hours. Can’t we listen to something from, oh, I don’t know, this decade?
  • We are not letting one more book into this house until you take care of the other THIRTY-SEVEN that are lying about in a disorganized manner. Do you hear me? I’m not even kidding.
  • Why do you insist on buying those Superhero stamps? Do you like adding extra postage? Do you think anyone even notices if you send them something with a Batman stamp on it? I doubt it. You’re weird.
  • Put your shoes away. Oh is the front closet too messy? Well then clean it up and then put your shoes away.
  • Are you even listening to me?
(Visited 36 times, 1 visits today)

46 Comments

  1. bamboozlde 02.Jun.08 at 3:39 pm

    i sure do enjoy your writing.

    Reply
  2. Jodi 02.Jun.08 at 3:51 pm

    Are you being sarcastic?

    Reply
  3. Peabo 02.Jun.08 at 4:02 pm

    Oh my god, well, this decides that we can never be roommates since our cabinet doors would never be closed, the downstairs bathroom would turn into the “mailroom” and, well, do we need to talk about books? I think not. And I can beat you on the gross clothing/bathroom–I have a laundry basket *in* the bathroom, but where do the clothes end up? *ahem* In the other sink. I don’t know why. I try not to put them there, but every weekend I find myself digging a week’s worth of assorted clothing off the counter and putting it…in the laundry basket two feet away.
    And the shoes…..the walking space between my kitchen and living room is my location place of choice. Just the other day as I picked up TEN shoes from that spot I wondered “why can’t I put them away? WHY?”

    Reply
  4. shokkou 02.Jun.08 at 4:43 pm

    Man. You need to shut that inner nag up and turn up the Stones. Your inner bohemian artiste shouldn’t have to put up with all that b!tching.

    Reply
  5. Jodi 02.Jun.08 at 5:06 pm

    Shokku. you’re probably right. I’ll send the nag over to Peabo’s house sounds like she’s needed over there.

    Reply
  6. bamboozlde 02.Jun.08 at 7:02 pm

    someday you’re going to have to learn to take a compliment. that was a wonderful post. you’ve had many wonderful posts. you are a good writer. i enjoy reading your writing. i have for many years. i would enjoy reading even more of your writing if you’d let me. you write well. nifty. spiffy. interesting. bueno. well done you. brilliant.

    Reply
  7. Jodi 02.Jun.08 at 7:07 pm

    Are you making fun of me?

    Reply
  8. bamboozlde 02.Jun.08 at 7:28 pm

    where’s the darned snark tag?

    Reply
  9. Jodi 02.Jun.08 at 7:29 pm

    Are you trying to make me cry? Is that it?

    Reply
  10. bamboozlde 02.Jun.08 at 7:41 pm

    you are so cool.

    Reply
  11. Jodi 02.Jun.08 at 7:42 pm

    You are making fun of me! Hrmph.

    Reply
  12. bamboozlde 02.Jun.08 at 7:45 pm

    and snarky. did i mention snarky?

    Reply
  13. Jodi 02.Jun.08 at 7:46 pm

    I can’t argue with snarky, can I?

    Reply
  14. bamboozlde 02.Jun.08 at 7:48 pm

    i think you have proven you can argue with just about anything.

    Reply
  15. Jodi 02.Jun.08 at 7:49 pm

    I know, and none of you fuckers who read this Web site ever, ever argue with me. What’s wrong with you?

    Reply
  16. bamboozlde 02.Jun.08 at 7:53 pm

    and you always have to have the last word.

    Reply
  17. bamboozlde 02.Jun.08 at 7:58 pm

    yuhuh.

    Reply
  18. Jodi 02.Jun.08 at 8:03 pm

    The person who is right should always get the last word.

    Reply
  19. bamboozlde 02.Jun.08 at 8:04 pm

    well, of course. that makes absolute sense.

    Reply
  20. Jodi 02.Jun.08 at 8:05 pm

    And we both agree that I’m right, right?

    Reply
  21. bamboozlde 02.Jun.08 at 8:06 pm

    definitely.

    Reply
  22. Jodi 02.Jun.08 at 8:10 pm

    Good, I’m glad that’s settled. Now stop making fun of me.

    Reply
  23. bamboozlde 02.Jun.08 at 8:11 pm

    yes, ma’am.

    Reply
  24. Jodi 02.Jun.08 at 8:21 pm

    Thank you.

    Reply
  25. bamboozlde 02.Jun.08 at 9:11 pm

    you’re welcome, of course.

    Reply
  26. UH 02.Jun.08 at 9:51 pm

    Both of you, to your rooms!

    Reply
  27. Jodi 02.Jun.08 at 9:52 pm

    He started it!

    Reply
  28. bamboozlde 03.Jun.08 at 6:51 am

    did not!

    Reply
  29. Jodi 03.Jun.08 at 9:38 am

    stop touching me!

    Reply
  30. bamboozlde 03.Jun.08 at 9:47 am

    moooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooom! jodi hit me!

    Reply
  31. Jodi 03.Jun.08 at 9:49 am

    No one will ever believe you. I am much more of a kicker.

    Reply
  32. bamboozlde 03.Jun.08 at 9:53 am

    karate jodi with kung-fu action kick. bring it chica.

    Reply
  33. Jodi 03.Jun.08 at 10:34 am

    You realize I have a wingspan over six feet, don’t you?

    Reply
  34. bamboozlde 03.Jun.08 at 10:40 am

    good thing i live over 300 miles away then!

    Reply
  35. Jodi 03.Jun.08 at 10:42 am

    You can run but you can’t hide.

    Reply
  36. bamboozlde 03.Jun.08 at 10:50 am

    oh, i can run _and_ hide. so there. take that. quid pro quo.

    Reply
  37. Jodi 03.Jun.08 at 10:54 am

    that’s your second mistake.

    Reply
  38. bamboozlde 03.Jun.08 at 10:55 am

    not that i’d have to run and hide because, you know, i’m a boy and you’re a girl which means you’re a doody-headed cootie-brain and neener neener neener.

    Reply
  39. Jodi 03.Jun.08 at 10:56 am

    This is the internet, I could totally be a dude pretending to be a girl.

    Reply
  40. bamboozlde 03.Jun.08 at 11:07 am

    but you’d still be a cootie-head.

    Reply
  41. Jodi 03.Jun.08 at 12:32 pm

    Who you calling cootie-head, you lint-licker?

    Reply
  42. bamboozlde 03.Jun.08 at 12:39 pm

    well… you? doody-headed poopy-pants! doody-headed poopy-pants!

    Reply
  43. Doug 05.Jun.08 at 1:17 am

    Batman? Why can’t we get a sheet of nothing but Green Lantern stamps?

    Oh crap. I’m sounding like I really mean it, am I not?

    It’s fine for the sheet to have both Batman and Green Lantern. Heck, even leave Green Arrow on there.

    Reply
  44. laurie 05.Jun.08 at 10:44 am

    I was wondering how that post had 44 comments-now I know! I sometimes get grossed out about the stuf I leave in my bathroom too!

    Reply
  45. Jodi 05.Jun.08 at 12:46 pm

    It has 44 comments because BamBam is a cotton-headed ninnymuggins.

    Reply

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