1. Herownself/myownself — One of Miranda July’s characters used this in a short story and I’ve been saying it to myownself for three days.
2. B.S. as opposed to bullshit.
3. Befuddled/puzzled.
4. FFFFFFuuuuuucccckkkk that/this/him/her/it/you/me — usually sung with a drawn out U-sound that goes up a few notes on the K.
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Perplexed, Boggled. If annoying, Vexxed. Or, if shocking enough, Gobsmacked.
I don’t need a thesaurus. I need a muzzle for my inner chatterbox.