In the interest of fair and balanced reporting, I offer up a follow up this list of career suggestions. These are the plans I have come up with for my future and shared with my coworkers that have caused them to bark with laughter:
- Art School: Apparently, according to Maria, art students don’t have mortgages.
- Fiction Writer: This prompted a “can people really support themselves doing that?” I told them that John Updike did about 100 years ago. They didn’t know who John Updike was.
- Philosopher: This one didn’t get a laugh so much as an eye roll.
- Coat-tail rider: This is going back to my “you suckers find jobs and hire me” plan. Probably my best bet.
All of this is really for naught since I announced a little bit ago that I think I have a brain tumor and will probably die before I have to actually get a job.
In other news, this is my last day of work before Christmas vacation. I have fourteen days off in a row and that’s making me absolutely punch drunk with giddiness.
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slightly off-topic: oh man, what did you do? i must have caught something coming to your site. i was just let go from my job today so the company could meet its financial goals for the year.
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merry christmas! 😉
Holy shit! I’m so sorry. It must be contagious, I had no idea. Don’t you love that instead of actually making money to meet financial goals companies just let people go? Corporate America is whack.
I love the expression “let people go.” What a euphemism. “Here you go, little employee. We’re going to set you free now, away from the burden of responsibility, a salary, those pesky feelings of adulthood and security, and, most of all, the ability to sleep at night. No, no, don’t thank us…it’s our pleasure.”
jodi – i would forgive you almost anything, even making me get let go from my icky, cow-pooey job. no worries.
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peabo – good one. it always made me think of that phrase, “If you love something let it go. If it comes back to you it`s yours. If it doesn`t, it never was” – alas, i guess we were never truly theirs.
get drunk
“let you go” – as if you had a choice. “No thanks, I think I’ll stay”