My Grandma Chromey died in 1990 when I was a seventeen-year-old senior in high school. Her death was not unexpected. She died surrounded by most of her ten kids, some of her twenty-six (I think) grandkids. I wasn’t there at the hospital when she died. I was at home babysitting a few of her great grandkids. There’s forty-two of those suckers now. Plus, nine and a half great-great grandkids. My cousin Nick’s wife is due sometime this year. When you…
I accidentally bought reduced-fat ice cream. Why does such an abomination exist? Also, why doesn’t Target make it clearer that the stuff you are buying is reduced-fat bullshit? I’ve accidentally bought reduced-fat cheese before too. I don’t like reduced-fat because it just means extra other crap that’s also bad for you. Reduced-fat but loads more sugar and salt to make up for the lack of fat, that’s what they need to put on the label. Don’t worry though, I made…
I should be upstairs, smelling of the Johnson’s Bedtime baby lotion I slather over my body in attempt not to turn into a pile of dead skin cells held together by Red Hots candy cane slobber and dirty sweatpants, curled into A Life in Men, and reading until my eyes fall out. That’s what I should be doing. But as Conan ended and I was leaning over to shut ol’ Enid down, an email came in. It notified me that…
First, I had a rough crying jag kind of night last night brought on by something I read in Gina Frangello’s A Life in Men. This led to some bad dreams and a generally unpleasant night of sleep. Second, because of all that I need to make myself some soup. This time it was broccoli cheese (made with a potato and carrot puree instead of a buttery, creamy roux). Third, I’ve watched the Jason Isbell & Neko Case episode of…
9:15 a.m. ~ A Story About the Grocery Store I was at the grocery store early this morning. I needed to fetch my portion of the calzone fixin’s for tonight’s Family Dinner. In case you are curious I’m bringing the roasted garlic, the peppers & onions, and the sausage. Also the keen intellect and razor-sharp wit. Obviously. As I was standing in line watching an old lady write a check, I eavesdropped. Obviously. I felt I had earned the right….
As you probably know most of the country is in the grips of the evil Polar Vortex, who is sitting on her ice throne in the Arctic circle feuding with her brother the Heat Miser and intermittently caressing her pet baby seal while cackling gleefully at all the humans throwing boiling water into the frigid air. I mean evil weather geniuses gotta have some fun too, ya know? Because of the Polar Vortex sent to kill us all, Minnesota’s governor…
