Hello Darling Ones, Today is December 6th. I’m exactly 51.5 years old and it’s been nine months since the shitty, shitty stroke. Nothing is new. My vision is still garbage. My brain still thinks my right side weighs a ton and is convinced every second of every day that I’m about to fall. I teeter on the brink of financial ruin. I’m working to accept my limitations and celebrate all the things I can do. Lexapro helps with the money…
Hi Darling Ones, Yesterday I graduated Occupational Therapy. Or as K, my therapist said, “we reached the end of our journey.” Then we both made puke faces. She got me. Before my journey ended, she gave me all the tests she gave me back in July. I did much better. That puzzle I couldn’t finish in four minutes? I completed it in like 90 seconds. I would have done better, but my tremor was all shook up. According to K…
Hello Darling Ones, Without a doubt 2023 is and continues to be the most difficult year of my life. It puts eighth grade, freshman year of college, COVID lockdown, and all the death of 2022 to shame. And at the same time it is the most gratifying, proudest, and loving year of my life. When I think about the way people have stepped up to support me through my stroke recovery and the diabetes and retinopathy and the arthritic knees,…
Hi Darling Ones, Last night I had a sex dream for the first time since I had the stroke in March. It was weird. The sex in the dream wasn’t weird. It was frustrating and with a man I dated about 1000 years ago, and the only way I could come is after he claimed he could fix Jane, which was apparently what I had named either my dishwasher or my air conditioner. Sure, it was an unfulfilling sex dream,…
Hello Darling Ones, Today marks eight months since my college friend Baltus died. Also, eight months since I had a stroke. These two events are inextricably linked in my damaged brain. My poor, defective brain that I continue to love even though it’s kind of a jerk. I still have an immense amount of guilt for worrying everyone by having a stupid stroke. Boy. would the people I love be bummed if I died. Same. I’m pretty glad I continue…
Hi Darling Ones, How goes it? My eyes have been extra garbage lately which makes writing harder than normal. In fact, I’m dictating this to my iPhone, which makes me feel kind of stupid because I’m talking to an empty room, which is not my jam. I’ll never be one of those posting video of myself spouting pithy remarks while looking into my phone’s camera. So thank your lucky stars for that. So here I am talking to my phone…
