Hello Darling Ones,
For the past month I’ve been locked in battle with my Home Owner’s ASSociation (HOA) over a hornet’s nest attached to my neighbor’s garage. While it is attached to her garage, it’s in a spot she would never see unless she was standing on my patio.
In the past, when I had a much cheaper and better HOA they’ve taken care of these kinds of problems. The current $400/month HOA claims pest control is an owner’s problem. I claim maintaining the siding of my neighbor’s garage is the ASSociation’s problem. And thus we have been deadlocked.
Well, we were deadlocked until I caved. I’ve already lost a pot of zinnias because I can’t get to the patio and water them. If I also lose my Salsa Verde garden I will be very sad and/or angry.
So, I was looking for a pest control company to take care of this problem and I turned to the internet to find this information.
Have you all been on the internet lately? It’s a goddamn nightmare.
I typed “Shakopee Pest Control” into the search box and the horrors were unleashed. AI Slop. Sponsored Search Results. Yelp reviews. Maps to 883 pest control companies “in my area.” SEO garbage results with 1-800 numbers for companies located in Texas.
Whenever I have the opportunity, I like to spend my money as close to home as possible and give it to an actual human. All I wanted was like Pete’s Pest Control located over on 4th Ave here in Shakopee, or something like that. I did not want the Orkin Army, thanksverymuchgoogle.
Last night I was talking to my friend Em and I uttered words I never thought I’d say.
“I wish we still had the Yellow Pages.”
Yes, the internet has made finding relevant information such a clusterfuck that I’m longing for the olden days. The days when we had paper books inside of our houses filled with business information of places nearby. It was glorious!
There was a time, when the internet was new and helpful, when I loathed the continued deliver of telephone books. I hated having to deal with all that useless paper trash they just dumped on my front step.
I didn’t want Ma Bell’s garbage. I had the internet.
Well, look at me now.
Tech Bros have monetized the usefulness right out of using the internet for finding useful local information. Thanks, Pa Bezosburg. You ruined everything.
After much scrolling and clicking I found a company in Jordan (a small town next to Shakopee) who are going to come and take care of my problem. So that’s nice, but I’m still bitter.
Love,
Jodi, your bittersweetheart