Hello Darling Ones,
Without a doubt 2023 is and continues to be the most difficult year of my life. It puts eighth grade, freshman year of college, COVID lockdown, and all the death of 2022 to shame.
And at the same time it is the most gratifying, proudest, and loving year of my life.
When I think about the way people have stepped up to support me through my stroke recovery and the diabetes and retinopathy and the arthritic knees, all I can do is cry. There is no way thank people for loving me and showing up in ways I would have never predicted.
I’m amazed every damn day about the kindness and the generosity of the people I’ve chosen to share my life with. I’m so lucky. I am SO lucky. I am.
In March 2023 I had a stroke with repercussions I’m still working to overcome. But I get to do the work.
A woman I graduated high school with had a stroke in July 2023 and died from it in September. She had a stroke and died. I had a stroke and livd to be annoyed by it (and, ask my family, annoying about it).
I’m so thankful I get to be annoyed because Becky didn’t get the opportunity.
Some people, singer Dessa wrote in her memoir, are born a little blue. That’s me, always feeling a little lonely. I think of myself as an outsider. It’s part of my self-mythology.
However, what I think and what you have actually shown me is quite different. I was wrong.
Nearly everybody in my life from all aspects of my life ha stepped up to support me. Not just financially, but emotionally too. And the thinb is, it’s not just people I know.
Friends of my sisters, brother-in-law, and my niblings have donated money to help me stay afloat and repay my debt. I’m very literally (and literarily) depending on the kindness of strangers right now.
When things are so terrible, when everywhere you turn you see how awful people can be to each other, it’s humbling to be the beneficiary of so much kindness and generosity.
I know I can never pay it back. I wish I could.mI cannot thank you enough.
As a crocheter, I love to make blankets, scarfs, sweaters, you name it. Whenever I crochet something for someone I think about how much I love that person. I try to infuse the yarn with that love, because I want them to be warm, safe, and feel loved always. I hope they can feel that coming from me.
If I could I would make each and everycone of you blanket so you can feel that, That’s how you have made me feel and I thank you thank you thank you.