Hi Darling Ones,
Today marks a year since my dad just died.
How it can be simultaneously a year ago already and only a year ago is not a mystery.
A lot has happened since September 16, 2022.
- My Uncle Danny died.
- Sister #2’s high school best friend Betty died.
- I got my first-ever UTI (I forgot about this one!).
- My vision went to hell.
- I had a stroke.
- I got the COVID.
- My college friend Baltus died.
- I had an adverse reaction to a medication that landed me in the ER and left me with constant light-headedness and rapid-cycling panic attacks for three weeks until we figured out the medication thing.
I bet more things have happened in the six months since I had the stroke that are not stroke-related, but I cannot tell you what they were.
While the stroke did not wipe out my memory, it’s done a number on my thoughts. I spend a lot of my brain power thinking about myself, specifically how my body feels and if it will ever feel better.
In a sense I have not had the time grieve everything that happened in 2022. Hell, I haven’t even grieved the losses caused by the stroke. Grieving takes time and thought and energy and I do not have any of that right now.
It makes me a little sad. All those losses deserve more than I gave them, and I hope in time I will get to that grief. But right now it’s taking all I got to stay alive and try to recover.
At least I managed this, a few words for all that loss.