Those 6,116 Times Meant Nothing

Hi Darling Ones,

I’ve probably listened to the song “Kiss on My List” by Hall & Oates about 6,116 times in my life. Hall & Oates were very big when I was in elementary school. I’m sure I’ve spent at least 6 hours of my life roller skating to “Private Eyes.” At least.

For sure I have listened to “Kiss on My List” at least 36 times this year, because I need to listen to it once a day or else the earth will spin off its axis and be burned up by the sun. I get like this sometimes. Where I have to hear a song all the time because it scratches some sonic itch I have in my brain. The last time I remember it happening was Heart’s “Magic Man.”.

“Kiss on My List” shuffled up when I cranked open Angrboda to write about a totally different topic. As I shoulder shimmied through the song I thought about tweeting about my recent penchant for it and why I thought that was.

My reason? Because the line “If you insist on blowing my bliss, I’ll tell you this. . .” It’s a great line, plus the consonance & alliteration make it super fun to sing. As I was preparing my snooty falooty yet keen observation, my eye caught the lyrics posted with this YouTube video.

“Haha, dumbass,” I said to myself, full of righteousness. “You fucked up the best line in the song.” So I turned to knower of all the things, google. They were on Team Dumbass. I wavered the tiniest bit but reassured myself there was no way I’ve been singing this song wrong for the last forty-one years.

Why I believed so strongly in myself on this one, I’m not sure. I’ve been singing songs wrong based on what I think the lyrics should be for all of the time I’ve been singing songs. Somehow I thought those 6,116 times meant something. They meant nothing. I went right to the horse’s mouth, and it’s very clear he’s singing “if you insist on knowing my bliss.”

What a disappointment. It’s still an excellent song, but my version with the blowing of the bliss is at least 17% more excellent. I mean the blowing/bliss thing was right there, Also, it’s more interesting if the friends & the kisser on the list are more interested in blowing bliss than in knowing the bliss, right? One is a gossipy fun fact and the other is a nefarious plan to ruin someone’s happiness. COME ON!

Blissfully yours forever,

P.S. I almost titled this one “I Insist on Blowing My Own Bliss” but I thought that sounded too much like masturbation (which I call practice already) and I didn’t want everyone I know to die of embarrassment or TMI or whatever because I was writing explicitly about masturbation.

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  1. RIch 05.Feb.22 at 5:03 pm

    I too am on Team Blowing! Who knew?!

    1. Jodi Chromey 05.Feb.22 at 5:36 pm

      I’m so glad I’m not the only member of #TeamBlowing.


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