Hi Darling Ones,
I’m coming to you just back from the brink of death. Or at least that’s what it feels like. I somehow managed to poison myself with food last night. Of all the magical thinking I engage in (and it’s a lot), the most magical is the belief that food will be edible until I’m damn good and ready to eat it no matter how long it’s been in my fridge.
Today I spent most of the day in bed praying for death and alternately reading True Grit by Charles Portis.
There are two kinds of people in this world when it comes to being sick: those who want to be nursed back to health and those who want to die alone in peace. Lucky for me I’m a die in peace kind.
While I’m not quite yet ready to call it a miraculous recovery, I did eat some instant mashed potatoes and my insides don’t seem to want to fall out of my body. Yet. So I’m probably on the path to healthy. At least I hope I am.
Getting sick as a single person who lives alone and works as a freelancer always leaves me a little emotionally shaky. Even though I know with 100% certainty that Sister #2 checks in if you she doesn’t see me on social media or hear from me by dinner time every day, there’s always a small fear that I’ll disappear and nobody will notice.
In other news, I bought myself a Rubik’s Cube to give my life some purpose. Expect more updates on this at some point.
That’s all I got for today. I’m doing my best to continue existing and have someone notice.
P.S. Today is both Janis Joplin and Dolly Parton’s birthday (my beautiful cousin Lindsay too), and as a gift to you I will keep all my Janis & Dolly fun facts to myself lest I annoy you away like that one guy I was talking to on that dating app.