“you know i was thinking about something this morning that’s just gonna piss you off,” the wondergeek said, pausing for a moment outside my cell.
“what?”
“martin is more talented than paul,” he said and bolted, leaving me to gasp and clutch at my chest to make sure i was still breathing.
moments later he was back.
“what?” i asked.
“i was listening to some old gear daddies CDs this morning and decided that martin is more talented than paul,” he said.
“i do not deny that martin is a fun and talented man,” i said in the slow, measured voice you use to talk to the completely insane.
“he does a whole set of just neil diamond stuff,” he said as if this were some kind of logical argument.
“i know and it’s a lot of fun,” i said.
“martin has more talent in his little spam-ridden, austin-boy pinky than paul has in all his uptown hipness,” the wondergeek said.
“. . . ” i was speechless. really, how can one respond to this?
“if paul were a comic he’d be Night Nurse,” the wondergeek said pointing to the Night Nurse comic book he bought me about 100 years ago. “martin would be spiderman. that’s all i got to say.”
you know, if you understood any of that, please contact me immediately as i might want to propose some sort of marriage.
Sorry, Wondergeek, I just lstened to some Martin Zellar, NO CONTEST!!
Paul is the winner of that challenge.
Maybe the Wondergeek is just jealous that you had an extra day off.
Besides being obviously right that Paul is the unquestioned lord of the musical universe, your “measured voice you use to talk to the completely insane” made me laugh out loud and people in my office turned to stare at me.
Martin should be shot….because Paul should be the father of all children…much like uh..er… GOD????
oh but marty is really sorta cute in his own stupid boy and fucked again sort of way. just not in paul’s league when it comes to musical geniousness.
Doing Neil Diamond covers, even in a fun and ironic way, does not equal talent. I mean, come on! Anyone can do that crap!
I think I’d like to pinch wondergeek really, really hard.