Friday I opened a letter from one of my crooks that own the mortgage on Supergenius HQ and was surprised to learn that on January 1, 2021, I have a balloon payment due on one of my loans. This was brand new information to me as I don’t recall having a balloon mortgage.
I can’t tell if this is sheer stupidity on my part, the not knowing, or shitty shystery shenanigans on the part of the money lenders. I recall the bankers having to do some sleight of hand to get Sister #4 and I to qualify for the loan to buy Supergenius HQ.
If you don’t recall, I bought the house with my youngest sister after she and her fiancee broke up two months before their wedding. They had originally bought the place in May of 2005 with the help of his mother. Once he moved out my sister couldn’t afford the place on her own. I was looking to move anyway, because I’d had one too many random dudes I’d gone out with a few times show up unannounced at my shitty apartment in Prior Lake. And so, I moved here in September 2005. Sister #4 was gone to Idaho by July 2006.
Of course, roughly 10 minutes after we closed the house was underwater, the housing bubble had burst and I was consistently cursing every single person who urged me to buy a house because, “you never lose money on real estate and you’re just throwing your money away when you rent.”
I’d like them to meet my interest-only, balloon-payment mortgage, and then go fuck themselves.
The thing I hate most about home ownership is financing. I hate most things to do with money because I am bad at it. I super hate anything to do with loans and interest rates and percentages. Even trying to research these topics makes me cranky. One time I had to write an email for one of my clients about student loans and financing your education. I lost my shit, because the whole topic frustrates me that much.
So maybe back in December of 2005, immediately after my Aunt Mary Kay’s funeral, I tuned out the part where they said we’d have a $24K balloon payment due in January of 2021. I feel like this is probably vital information they had to impart on us. And at the same time, I feel like this is vital information I would not have forgotten. I’m sure one of the papers I signed said all this, but who reads all of those papers?
Maybe the whole time Sister #2 was selling their house last spring because of their own balloon payment it didn’t jog my memory.
I don’t know.
So, yeah now I get to work through trying to refinance my house as a freelancer. This should be fun.