I am typing this one-handed at 9:01 p.m. on this thunderstormy Thursday. I’m using the other hand to shove a peanut butter & jelly sandwich into my gaping maw. It is the first of a PB&J double header. I’m fucking hungry. It is, after all, 9 p.m. and I worked through dinner.
Whenever I go an entire week without updating I Will Dare I get a little itchy inside my brain. Really, the itchiness starts around day three or four. What if people are worried about what happened to me? I start to wonder. What if they miss me? I think megalomaniacally.
Of course, I know that nobody notices. I know that if anyone was really worried they could take a trip to Twitter and see every hiccup and burp I toss out there on a daily basis.
But the reptilian parts of my brain often forget that nobody cares when I last updated my website. Those parts of my brain are still stuck in the early-aughts when, if personality bloggers like me went an entire week without updating, people sent emails. Lots of people sent lots of emails to make sure everything was okay. This was really a thing that happened. Of course people also made dramatic announcements about hiatuses and quitting blogging.
Another annoying thing they’d do? They apologize for being away from the blog for so long with laundry lists of all the hectic happenings of their life.
I only have two things to tell you.
1.) I hit 100 pages on v2 of The Beast today. It’s why I skipped dinner. I vowed to myself while I was at lunch with FFJ that no matter what I was not leaving the damn chair until I hit page 100. I’m at 28,307 words right now. My goal is to finish v2 by my birthday (in 28 days).
2.) Today while leaving lunch, I made a crack about having sex with Prince Harry. I make a lot of cracks about having sex with Prince Harry. As FFJ and I parted from our hug, she reminded me that I had to watch the reality show about Marrying Prince Harry. From the bench in front of the Dog Grooming place, a woman with a blonde ponytail and tattooed arms took her cigarette out of her mouth and shouted “I CAN’T WAIT TO SEE THAT.” It was awesome.
Tomorrow, remind me to tell you about my “TV Opportunity.”