Things I Believe I Deserve a Major Award For

  1. The awkward construction of that headline.
  2. Writing fiction two days in a row like some kind of fiction writer. Today I crested 21,000 words on The Beast v2.
  3. Emptying the dishwasher when the only dirty dish in the whole joint was a single bowl and fork from today’s lunch.
  4. Not stopping writing fiction today even though I kind of wanted to go soak my always cold feet in a warm bath while listening to the latest (and not as good as the first one) Rob Lowe memoir.
  5. Writing this blog post instead of taking that bath.
  6. The fact that it’s been raining in Minnesota for eighty-eight days (since Saturday, really) in a row and it will probably rain for eighty-eight more days, which means the day is grey and cold all day and the light never changes and it just makes you want to nap all the damn time all day every day with the napping, but I haven’t done that.
  7. And when you add the fact that my work uniform is basically soft pants and an unattractive yet comfortable bra and a hoodie, yes, pajamas, to the fact that I haven’t spent the past eighty-eight rainy days napping, well that is totally something that is really seriously worthy of a major award, don’t you think?
  8. Also, I squeezed under the wire and managed to get presale ‘Mats tickets for me and a couple of Westernerds.

You can send my fragile crate containing a sexy leg lamp to Supergenius, HQ.

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  1. Brett 03.May.14 at 12:19 pm


    Glad to see you got your Replacements tickets! My wife and I have both been trying the past three days with no luck … until today! Third time’s a charm! I got in, she didn’t, and I’m told this last batch sold out in two minutes! Friggin’ Stub Hub and other parasites!

    Anyhoo, Kudos – keep on a-writin’ …

    p.s. – I don’t have a sexy leg lamp, how ’bout a dress mannequin? 😉

    1. Jodi 05.May.14 at 8:30 pm

      I think propping a dress mannequin in the window would be even creepier than the detached leg lamp.

      Congrats on the tickets. I’m honestly stunned that they sold out so fast. I didn’t think the show would sell out until August or something. I was wrong. Dead wrong.

  2. TODD 05.May.14 at 7:58 pm

    I am too proud to beg, but if you wish to part with one Mats’, I will pay the ticket price and will try to make it even more worth your while-including free beer and food. You be making an old man happy. todd

    1. Jodi 05.May.14 at 8:31 pm

      I wish I had one to give. The three tickets I bought were spoken for before they were even purchased. I feel so lucky to have gotten them.


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