Except for Kurt Cobain Who Sprung Fully-Formed from the Space Needle

We were at Grumpy’s, because of course we were. All my stories that don’t start with “I woke up from a nap” start with “We were at Grumpy’s.”

It was fitting because I was grumpy as fuck. I’ve been grumpy as fuck for a long time. Itchy, unsure, cranky, not depressed, and not afraid, but just generally unpleasant-like in my brain. I know why I’ve been like this, because I haven’t written a goddamned thing worth a goddamn in about seven epochs. Knowing this does nothing to alleviate any of it.

Also, I pulled a hamstring on Saturday night which adds to the general level of crank. I was barely aware that I had hamstrings and pulling one has made me abundantly aware about what a cocksucking motherfucker my right thigh is.

So anyway, I’ve been stewing in this acidic swamp of crabbiness for what? Six weeks now? And then yesterday I got news that I did not get a grant that I applied for and I seriously contemplated plummeting into a pit of despair, because at least I’d have a good reason? However, plummeting would have taken a lot of energy and I was currently using all my energy to be a surly fuck.

Swearing is my new thing now.

And then I got to Grumpy’s to see my friend Melanie and I promptly set to the airing of grievances regarding my hamstring and the arts’ board critique and how it stung to be called “pre-professional” and I probably bitched about my fingernails and how cranky I was about having to breathe all the time with the in and the out and the oh my god I hate all stuff and things.

Then when I let her speak because I was too busy whimpering and stewing she said, ” I saw this Heart thing and I almost sent it to you.”

And I cheered momentarily because I do love to talk about Heart.

“They played “Stairway to Heaven” for Led Zepplin at the Kennedy Center Honors,” she said.
“I know I’ve see that,” I said.
“It’s amazing, she said. “Robert Plant cried.”
“I know!” I screeched a little and then because I get carried away thinking about Heart, it made me forget the hamstrings and the cranky and the “this doesn’t sound like any liner notes I’ve ever read.

I took a deep breath and uttered the immortal words that probably strike fear in the hearts of people who know me I said, “Did you know that Heart started out as a Led Zeppelin cover band?”
“No,” Melanie said and I choose to believe she was interested in what I was going to say next because Melanie is kind.
“Yeah, Ann was in a Zeppelin cover band in Vancouver. And did you know that they were like the godmothers of that whole grunge scene in Seattle in the 90s? The night Andrew Wood died all those guys went to Ann Fucking Wilson’s house but of course nobody ever talks about that, how supportive she was of those guys, well, except for Kurt Cobain who sprung fully-formed from the Space Needle.”

As I took a breath to start the second part of my Heart lecture, Melanie laughed. She laughed really hard, gasping for breath, and sputtering “fully-formed from the Space Needle.”

My actual heart grew three sizes that night (it was last night) and we spent the next three hours talking about all the things and it reminded me that there were still some things that I liked (sex, music, feminism) and still things I hated (all the Shakespeare and Hobbitty stuff). She reminded me that it was okay to put The Beast down for awhile but my excuses had all dried up and it was time to get back to work.

And so I did. Today. And it was good.

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3 Comments

  1. Susanna 08.Nov.13 at 10:31 am

    I totally love this and get it so much. It’s so necessary to have someone to tell you to get back to work to relieve that particular grumpy. Great post.

    Reply
    1. Jodi 08.Nov.13 at 10:44 am

      I am very lucky to be surrounded by people who understand this kind of grumpy and the various ways one most process a rejection. I have the “what can we learn from this so we do better next time” person; the “I hate those people who rejected you because what you’re doing is awesome” person; and the beloved “let’s be catty and petty for a little bit” people. So very lucky.

      Reply
  2. Alicia Berg 18.Nov.13 at 8:33 pm

    ?

    ?

    I’ve always had a weird feminist side to me. And a Go-Green side too, I just don’t like to overdo things. Anyways, I really enjoyed your blog and you seem like a fucking awesome girl. I admire your crudeness and subtle sarcasm. 🙂 To be perfectly honest, I ran across your blog trying to find blogs regarding women issues so I can promote my Newsletter “the Golden Bubbly” and my Newly opened home party and online store LuxForMe.com – and I really enjoyed your blogs which took up way too much time since I am trying to get as much free promoting as I can tonight and do laundry so my son and I have underwear tomorrow. Sorry, I keep getting carried away like we are sitting across from each other at Grumpys over a really strong drink. 🙂 Please, if you can, take your time out to send me your email address if you’d like to take part in a Free Subscription and help a MN lady get her voice heard and business up and running!
    Women Empowerment is an important issue. I recently created a FREE Newsletter where empowerment and healthy lifestyle articles, time saving tips, updates on trends and more are highlighted! Best part?
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    Thank you for the good reads and I hope you JOIN soon! 🙂 Peace and Love wished to you!

    Reply

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