• Writing bitchy posts about annoying Facebook users. Yeah, we’ve all done it. But most of us did it last year, so your witticisms about Vaguebookers are almost as annoying as a Vaguebooker. Shut up and hide those that annoy you.
• Zombies. They’re the bacon of the supernatural monster world, but more annoying because, well, bacon is delicious.
• Cracking jokes and/or bitching about some famewhore pseduo-celebrity. Here’s the thing people, if you stop talking about them, they cease to be famous. Also asking why they’re famous or inferring that you’ve never heard of the famewhore du jour, that’s not funny and doesn’t make you look above it all.
• Telling people who want to support the Occupy movement to shop at independent, locally-owned stores. While I understand your aim is true, think about it you privileged nitwit. The problem here is that people can’t fucking afford to shop at independent, locally-owned stores because the prices are higher. The problem is that the big boxes can and will beat those indies on price every single day. And while in theory we’d all like to support our neighbors, in practice we can’t afford to. THIS IS THE PROBLEM. It’s very obvious that a lot of people I read have never dealt with actual poverty. While I’m happy they’ve never had to experience the shame and awful decision-making that comes with being poor, the poor-kid in me wants to scream at their well-intentioned, privileged bullshit.

There, I feel much better now.