Things I pulled out of the left side of the La-Z-Grrl while looking for my favorite cans

First of all, I found Eurydice, my iPod, in the Kleenex box. My passport drive and USB jump drive were in there too. I was puzzled for about sixty-seven seconds when I remembered that some creepy white minivan piloted by a cigarette smoking man, drove up and down my “street” the other night.

I don’t have a real street. I live off a real street, but Supergenius HQ shares what is, essentially, a big driveway with the three other townhouses on this side of the er, townhouse block? Anyway, the street cum driveway dead ends at the end of the Used Car Salesman’s house, and is about ten cars long, two cars wide. Not big.

So, seeing any car drive by a few times is super creepy, much less a white minivan piloted by a cigarette smoking man. I convinced myself that someone was casing the joint and was just waiting until I went to bed to rob me of all my earthly belongings. It was then I decided it would be a good idea to shove all that crap in the Kleenex box. . . they’ll never look there. . . and cover the box with that Sweet Valley High book I got for my birthday and then all the index cards featuring my character bios.

The idea flew out of my head as quickly as it flew in, because I went to bed leaving both Jed and Big Betty right out in the open. However, as I did lay me down to sleep I wondered if any potential robbers would think to steal my shelf of autographed books.

This leads me to the whole pulling crap out the chair because once I found Eurydice, I needed my cans. Since the last time I saw them they were on the arm of the La-Z-Grrl, it makes perfect sense that they would have slid down and got stuck in the chair. I didn’t find the headphones, they were on the couch, but what I did find included:

  • The Night of the Gun by David Carr
  • A big envelope full of unemployment nonsense because I had to dig it out this week when I couldn’t remember the password I need to login and keep getting my weekly dole
  • A CD containing “Flugoos: The Movie” that Max made for me
  • Registration papers for my fall class at The Loft
  • A Popsicle stick
  • two wrappers from Market Pantry Fiber bars (oats & chocolate)
  • One empty plastc Midol sarcophagus
  • Countless disgusting crumbs and dead skin flakes and dust, all embedded underneath the fingernails of my left hand
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Everything the light touches is my kingdom. Well, at least where this website is concerned. There's an about me section if you are so inclined to know things. All the posts were written by me. I have a lot of words.

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