willing to trade sexual favors and/or money and/or my firstborn child in exchange for one really, really good story idea

i’m starting to panic just an eensy bit. i have a short story due for class on the 30th. i have made a vow to me ‘mates to submit a new short story, one that has not existed at all ever, until i made it up. that means no re-writing something old. if i break this vow i have to sing in public in front of actual people. that right there is enough to cause me to lose sleep.

so i have to write a short story. i’ve done it before. i’ve written a good handful of them. what scares me is that i haven’t even the foggiest idea of what to write about. i have three possible first lines that i pretty much hate.
•sherrie was pregant, again. it was the third time this year.
•pete liked the way she gave back change.
•sometimes i don’t spray the shoes on purpose, hoping someone will get some kind of fungus.

i thought about writing a story about a concert, but then what the fuck is the point of that? i thought about writing a story about a girl going to see a paul-westerbergeque folker, but that too fails the what’s the fucking point test.

so yeah, i totally need a story idea, pronto. like 10 minutes from right now. got it?

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14 Comments

  1. JustMe 23.Mar.06 at 12:08 pm

    “sometimes i don’t spray the shoes on purpose, hoping someone will get some kind of fungus”

    Yes, go with a bowling alley story; those are always fascinating! There are plenty of characters available to you first-hand (just be sure to change the names to protect the innocent or not-so-innocent)

  2. novel short story idea 23.Mar.06 at 12:32 pm

    “when i go to the OB-GYN for my yearly check-up, my nipples get as hard as diamonds as soon as Dr. Bean bends down to have a look-see.”

  3. jodi 23.Mar.06 at 1:00 pm

    uh, gross.

  4. the tthm 23.Mar.06 at 1:55 pm

    john picked up the hammer by the claw and tried not to notice the way the pool of blood reflected his hideous smile. bitch, he thought. now i’ll never get rid of this fungus. but at least she gave good change.

  5. kelly 23.Mar.06 at 3:04 pm

    ALL stories would fail the “what’s the point” test when they’re just ideas.

    –> A cowboy needs work and ends up working with another cowboy.
    Point?

    Don’t give it the “what’s the point” test until after the draft is done. Very little in life has a point on its own.

  6. kelly 23.Mar.06 at 3:04 pm

    ALL stories would fail the “what’s the point” test when they’re just ideas.

    –> A cowboy needs work and ends up working with another cowboy.
    Point?

    Don’t give it the “what’s the point” test until after the draft is done. Very little in life has a point on its own.

  7. kelly 23.Mar.06 at 3:05 pm

    Why does everything I say come up twice!??!

  8. Dr. Bean 23.Mar.06 at 3:11 pm

    maybe it means you’re multi orgasmic.

  9. jodi 23.Mar.06 at 3:17 pm

    kelly, i think doc bean is hitting on you.

  10. FFJ 23.Mar.06 at 5:15 pm

    “Angel walked into my room crying and carrying a dictionary.”

    done and done.

  11. kelly 23.Mar.06 at 5:49 pm

    If I was multi-orgasmic I wouldn’t give two shits about whether or not Jodi could come up with a story.

  12. Thomas 24.Mar.06 at 8:48 am

    “I still could feel the dice in my hand and the smell of the stale smoky felt at that ancient casino, but until today I could never remember who I was with.”

  13. wolfdog 24.Mar.06 at 10:20 am

    The mullet wearing security guard herded us towards the sidewalk with threats of sending the ‘big fuckers’ after us.

  14. Thomas 24.Mar.06 at 3:00 pm

    “She had nipples like monkey’s fists and a pair of legs I wanted to shimmy up like a native boy looking for coconuts.”