negotiations

sister #4 and i had our first real blow out this weekend. huge fight, complete with tears.

it started with her Burning Party. the Burning Party is a party she has planned for next weekend, the weekend she was supposed to be married. she’s invited all her closest friends and family to this party, where she plans to burn her invitations and everything else associated with the wedding. the party has a very anti-groomzilla flavor to it.

on thursday, sister #2 expressed some trepidation about the Burning Party. she said she didn’t feel comfortable going through with the party if sister #4 is talking with groomzilla about getting back together. i promised sister #2 i’d talk to her.

so randomly, as is my nature, i just blurted out, “so about this burning party.”

she handled it pretty well. i told her that i didn’t think she should have the party with it’s burn the fucker at the stake flavor, especially if she had plans on getting back together with him (and she does, and i bet they are back together by january). she said she still wanted the party. and i told her if she didn’t say something there would be a lot of groomzilla-bashing and she would look like a total hypocrit if she got back together with him two months later.

then we talked about how she always talks about how she’s so concerend with what people think and that if she goes ahead with this party as is, they’ll all be thinking she’s a jackass. eventually after a few tears were shed (on her part), she agreed about the inappropriateness of the party and agreed to e-mail the attendees and explain the situation.

so then, since i had all my gumption up, i broached the subject i had been dreading since i heard that sister #4 was going out to lunch with groomzilla — living arrangements.

“just so you know,” i said. “if you do get back together, i am not living with you and jose.”
“what?” she asked.
“i just won’t do it.”
“why?”
“i’m not comfortable living with someone i don’t know that well. plus i don’t need another roommate.”

she freaked out. FREAKED OUT. it was so ugly. she was hurt and offended that i claimed to not know the man she wanted to marry that well (which i don’t. jose is the quietest man on earth). she brought up the fact that i lived with sister #2 and the stink (when i was 22) and with sister #3 and tony (when i was 25), why couldn’t i live with her and jose?

ugh, my stomach hurts just thinking about it. of course the fact that we own a house together complicates everything. and i have to admit i’m a little pissed that she’s thinking of moving him in here already. i just got unpacked, literally. we argued about living arrangements. she thinks he should be able to move in (IF [yes, that’s still IF] she wants him to and they get to that point). i think they both need to move the fuck out of here.

but, she wants the house (which she and groomzilla can barely afford, which is part of what lead to the break up) and, i don’t want to fucking move again. thus the dilemma.

however after much yelling and many tears, we came to a solution. which makes me feel abotu 392,832 times better. if she and jose get back together they will move out and rent an apartment. i’ll keep her name on the mortgage (so we don’t have to re-close again and pay closing costs), keep the house and make the payments on my own (since i can afford it). after two years, if she wants, she and jose can buy the house from me or we can sell it or i can keep it.

it’s a little bit more complicated than that, but it all makes sense. it’s something we both agreed on, which is good (because sometimes she’s not the most reasonable person on earth and is notorious in the sister club for having unsolvable problems — incidentally she’s already found a flaw in ‘my plan.’ allegedly (though she’s never even tried) it’s really hard to find apartments that will take cats. though i just moved from an apartment that takes cats).

so now, would it be evil of me to hope they get back together and move out?

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6 Comments

  1. Holtz 17.Oct.05 at 11:54 am

    Its not hard to find an apartment building that takes cats, its hard to find one that lets you have dogs.

    Reply
  2. jodi 17.Oct.05 at 11:55 am

    that’s what i told her. it’s just an example of her problems which can never, ever be solved.

    Reply
  3. Damon 17.Oct.05 at 12:12 pm

    I’ll backup Holtz on this one… I had no problems finding a place which would accept cats. ‘course, some charge you some reasonable pet rent of $10/month or so…then there’s my current apartment, a $400 non-refundable one-time fee. (Which doesn’t make much sense if you’ve only got 8 months left on your lease!)

    Reply
  4. PoeticaL 17.Oct.05 at 12:23 pm

    I just saw an article on Divorce Parties after it was featured on my local news channel. I was all “damn I didn’t have one of those parties where I could blame the “Pin the Blame on the Jack EX” games.

    But honestly, there’s no dignity in placing the blame…is there?? It never works out the way we think it will.

    Far better to have a “I rock on my own” party and focus on all one’s good qualities. I didn’t have the aforementioned party, I decided to enroll in college and become a better person instead. He’s still the same…which is less than was good enough for me…..party or no party.

    The living arrangements….yah I’d be just as concerned as you were. Sometimes you have to hammer things out even though getting hit in the head with the truth hurts.

    I do wonder however, how they’d manage to get back together and re-plan a new wedding ever…..how does one go about doing that??

    Reply
  5. wendy 17.Oct.05 at 1:40 pm

    if she needs a list of apartments that allow cats, i would be glad to get one for her. it’s a BITCH trying to find the dog one, though. especially when your dog is gonna be like 80 lbs.

    p.s. we need to do dinner again sometime!

    Reply
  6. PeeWee 18.Oct.05 at 1:13 am

    Groomzilla?
    Defenestration.

    Reply

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