you have chlorophyll on your paws, you are dead to me

the biggest change with buying the house and moving in with sister #4 has to be the cats. we are two single women with four cats between us. that’s just so damn wrong. SO WRONG. i told her to get rid of her two, she’d only had them for a few months she couldn’t be that attached to them. but she said no. and i can see why, because she’s a crazy crazy cat lady. she’s one of those people that thinks her cats are her children. she kisses them and stuff. she talks to them in that itchy-kitchy-coo baby voice. she’s certifiably insane. last week, i discovered that this is inherited behavior. because my mom is also a crazy cat lady. somehow i dodged that funky gene.

i’m one of those cat ladies who thinks that her cats are, well, cats. more roommates/autonomous creatures then beings that need to be coddled and cooed over. my cats and i have that kind of relationship. they do their thing, i do my thing, occassionally we bump heads but generally we live in harmony.

that was until we moved.

paco has not been too pleased with this moving bullshit. as soon as the movers showed up on that tuesday (two weeks ago today) he went into hiding. he crawled into that strange hidey hole that leads to the pipes to the bathroom (this is in the apartment). he hid in there for 3 hours. and it wasn’t until after i sat in the middle of the floor crying wondering how i was going to get him out that the idea of catnip struck me. i ran to the Super T to get some catnip and it still took another 20 minutes for him to come out.

neither paco or madison were too thrilled with being loaded into cat carriers, and yowled the entire way from the apartment to the new home of Supergenius Headquarters.

yeah, and you can only imagine how thrilled they were when the popped out of their teeny, tiny prison to find two other cats hanging out at the new abode.

paco immediately went back into hiding and hid there for two days. then he hid upstairs for two days, only coming out at night. now, he’s back to his usual annoying self. in fact all four of them have seem to find their normal mode of operation and for all but madison (who is just too cool for school), it’s high annoyance.

simon & garfunkel (sister #4’s cats, and garfunkel’s name is really murphy, but i think garfunkel is funnier and therefore call them simon and garfunkel) are still kittens really. i think they’re like 4 or 5 months old. so they’re into everything. and they like to crawl up your leg across your belly, and curl up right on top of your breasts. this is not comfortable or fun. they like to chase strings and chew on most everything, including Muriel.

Muriel is the peace lily that my employer sent when my grammu died. the plant is named in her honor. i haven’t quite found a new home for muriel in Supergenius Headquarters. so she’s been hanging out on the kitchen counter near the sink. she’s been there pretty peacefully and undisturbed, that was until last night.

last night simon & garfunkel attacked and knocked her into the sink.

“ok, now i’m pissed,” i said.
“i’m sorry,” sister #4 said.
“it’s not your fault,” i said. “but if she dies, i’m killing those cats.”

i moved muriel to lower ground, hoping to make her safe. but that didn’t work so well. i have to figure out a way to keep those damn cats away from her.

i thought of the squirt gun method, but that won’t work, because simon & garfunkel like water. the other day, simon actually joined me in the shower. talk about unnerving.

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  1. JustMe 27.Sep.05 at 11:23 am

    Cats will show you when they are mad at you. They will start peeing in every place except their box, knock things over, and, generally try to piss you off. I had a giant plant and when I moved, my cat decided to make the pot his new litter box. I solved the problem by putting jacks (the kids game) on top of the dirt. Anything pointy will do. They will not step on them!

  2. Placemat 27.Sep.05 at 12:49 pm

    With 10 cats & 100+ house plants, I’ve dealt with this problem.

    Hang up any plant you can. For those that are too big, try putting orange peels in the pots. Cats hate anything citrus. You’ll have to periodically replace the peels, but it’s worth the hassle.

    I also use pine cones. Nobody, not even cats, like to shit on something pointy.

    & I treat my cats like family. No baby talk, but we have long conversations, & share lots of kisses & hugs.


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