my westernerdian pal, zook, has started a campaign to keep me upbeat and smiling while stuck here in the arctic pits of Hell, Inc. in his quest he sends me totally rad mp3s (the queers, “see you later fuck face” screeching weasel “i don’t give a fuck” are two examples), and he also asks me insane questions that i, of course, answer.
and being the kind of generous soul that i am, i thought i’d share with you all, because you know you care so damn much. feel free to play along.
a.) who is your favorite muppet and why?
if the sesame street chracters count as muppets, and they should. . . grover. i just love him because he thinks he’s a super hero and i think i’m a superhero and i had a car, a 1980 ford fairmont that i called grover. in fact i shoved this grover fingerpuppet on the blinker shaft and glued a little grover in a sailboat to the dashboard.
b.) if your furniture could talk what would they say and are there any pieces that don’t like each other?
my swanky blue couch would say “my you are a sexxy red chair i have never seen a chair with such innate sexxiness.
the sexxy red chair would say, “oh thank you swanky blue couch, it’s amazing you can still discern my sexxiness under all this cat hair.”
the bookcases would be too busy to talk, what with all the reading. my bed usually only groans with ecstasy when i slide in. the rest of the furniture is definitely mute.
c.) if you could send your sisters to any city in the world (individually) where would that be?
sister #2, i’d send to some place in maine or vermont, just somewhere quite and a little hidden because she needs to slow down a bit.
sister #3, i’d send to new york, because i think seeing such a big place would be good for her and getting her out of her comfort zone and experiencing something new would be fun for her.
sister #4, mexico city, so she could see and experience her fiancee’s culture.
d.) what actor would you like to have waiting at your apartment naked when you get home from work today?
this one is tough, because at first i think ohhh, johnny depp. but then what would we do once he put his clothes on? so it’s definitely matt dillon, because afterwards we could talk about which replacements songs are our favorites.
e.) what song would you like Paul to cover?
fuck and run by liz phair.