FFJ has a calendar and i’ve envied it since i first saw it. the TTHM also has a calendar, though i have never seen it, i envy it too because he writes things in there like Fajitas with YKW (YKW=You Know Who=Me). so yes, i admit it, i have much calendar envy. FFJ told me that when you have a calendar you have to write something down on each day. and i loved that idea, which made the calendar envy that much greater.
so on or around august 9th, 2004 i bought myself a student planner. the fact that i’m not a student doesn’t really factor into this. i just sort of needed a calendar, because suddenly i decided that i have very important dates to keep track of. but mostly, i just wanted to be like the TTHM and FFJ with their glamourous and sexxy calendars.
so far, i’ve mostly been using it for work, which is sort sad. but, i have been doing pretty good with writing down something on each day. mostly, i try to write down some quote, some something that i can use to my advantage sometime in the future.
even though none of you fuckers have sent me anything to enter in my calendar/address book (and i will remember this when it’s time to send valentines, oh yes i will), i thought i’d still share with you the stuff written down thus far:
Wednesday 11: short story about donut sprinkler?
Thursday 12: Flo the brain surgeon’s wife
Friday 13: “i thought all you had was a shriveled chicken mcnugget in there” (this was said in regards to my heart)
Satuday 14: “Max is more important to you than me!”
Monday 16: “you don’t have to come, it’s none of your concern”
Thursday 17: “I am triyng to out bitter jodi”
Wednesday 18: “looks like a pump, feels like a sneaker.”
Thursday 19: “now i won’t make out with you.” “well then, i guess our 3 o’clock is off.”
Friday 20: “Apple pie without the cheese is like a kiss without the squeeze” (this was seen on a series of signs outside Belle Plain, MN)
Monday 23: “I’ve made it my life’s mission to not read crap with graphs.”
Tuesday 24: “why am i standing here arguing with you when i could be making picture frames?”
i haven’t got the one for today yet.
I give lots of things. It’s not MY fault you have more interesting things that are calendar worthy.
Boo!
Fajitas with YKW? What the fuck? I abbreviate you JFC as in jesus fucking christ, eh? And fajitas? You are so on crack…
And mine’s not a calendar, it’s a ‘Day at a Glance’, the premier top dollar thingey to write boring things in, like:
“she couldn’t wait for him to become a distant memory” and “deus ex machina — an improbable plot device to resolve a difficult situation” cause that’s what Donnie Darko screams at the end of the world and next to your name in the back “an honest, difficult but ultimately fun woman” because sometimes i really have to remember that, you know?
go back and look, sometimes in august 2003, i’d look up the exact date, but i have to work here.
also, my stomach hurts and i want to cry. that is all.
So I read “donut sprinkler”, and while I know that you probably meant someone or something that puts the little sprinkles on the donuts (it’s that mustachioed guy…”time to make the donuts”), I actually had a picture in my head of a lawn sprinkler that was spraying donuts all over the lawn instead of water.
Which would be totally cool, if you think about it. The Lawn of Donuts would be a tourist attraction that people would drive literally tens of miles to see.