1. i accidentally took a nap. i didn’t mean to. what i meant to do was finish Nell Freudenberger’s Lucky Girls but i found myself sleeping instead, for like two hours.
2. this means i’ll never sleep tonight.
3. while napping i had a bizarre dream about a photographer who lived in a beautiful windowed house and we had sex in the middle of his living room. but then i wasn’t happy with having sex with him so quickly so in the dream i just started over. i started it over like six times, each time differently. one start over involved me twirling and twirling in the middle of his living room. another involved me looking at his photos and bowling trophies. he had one photo of an old man, it was double exposed and floating over the top of the old man’s photo were pictures of me growing up. in the dream i knew it was a picture he had taken of my biological father.
4. i haven’t done my homework yet or burned the westerberg bootleg, nor did i make chili for tomorrow’s chili cookoff.
5. there is no five.
6. whenever i make these list things it makes me think of soul coughing’s song “four out five” or whatever it’s called, the one with “her knees thrust in one direction like the symbol of math the symbol meaning greater than.”
7. i wish i made more time to read.
8. i will read more once i buy a new couch and/or a comfy chair.
9. sometimes i feel guilty that max is my favorite, even though i am constantly charmed by cade’s redhead rebelliousness.
10. i can’t wait to meet my new nephew, he’s due January 1st.
11. i’m already thinking about christmas which just really bums me out. i feel like i’m constantly living in the very near future. i’ve been spending a lot of time overshooting my headlights. luckily, i know what i’m getting sister #4, the kidlings, and the NBFB.