i’d probably get over this cold a lot faster if i could stop sneezing long enough to fall back to sleep. i was doing really well until about midnight, then the sneezing started.

i’m sneezing with such a force that if i were a little cartoon character the velocity of my sneeze would propel me off the ground forcing my body into the symbol of math, the symbol meaning greater than and little lines would be shooting from my mouth and perhaps even a white cloud signifying germ expulsion.

i think my brain has been liquified by amazonian zombies and is slowly leaking out my nose first through the right nostril and then magically through the left one.