i am a pathetic today-show junkie, i thought you all should know.

also, sister #3 is pregnant. that’s the big secret i’ve been digesting all weekend. she told me, via e-mail, on friday. can we say mixed emotions?

first and foremost i am giddy with joy for sister #3 and tony. i know how very badly they want to have kids. it’s been so long since we’ve had a brand-new baby in the family. you figure max will be 3 in october. . . he’s practically old now.

so yes, i will get to be an aunt again. wahoo!

but then i get all selfish and worried when i think about it. by the time this kid is born i’ll be nearly 30 years old. 30, single and childless. it terrifies me. i don’t want to be an old maid.

i think about sister #3 having a kid and i think about how sister #2 already has two and i feel like i am just way behind them, like it’s some sort of silly race. i feel the litlest bit usurped. i am supposed to be the oldest sister, sister #1, i am supposed to do all this stuff first.

but really i am just being silly about everything, i am still young, aren’t i? there is plenty of time to meet some man, con him into loving me and then having babies, right? right?