Hi Darling Ones, I’m not going to apologize for the lack of updates because I am not sorry. Instead, I’m fucking depressed and kind of angry about it. The last two weeks have been a struggle and I’m too damn tired to put on my brave face. It’s a miracle that I can be tired at all because it seems like all I do is sleep. Sleep is the by-product of the light-headed/panic attack cycle that started last week. It’s…
Hi Darling Ones, Just a quick note to let you know I continue to exist on this planet, despite everything trying to kill me (that’s me being dramatic). BFK & Atom took me to Urgent Care and then the ER Friday since I only have medical crises when my fam is out of town. One MRI and some chest x-rays later and they determined I didn’t have another stroke nor do I have heart issues. Why I’ve been constantly lightheaded…
Hello Darling Ones, Yesterday, I accidentally blurted out 45 years of fat kid trauma onto my unsuspecting physical therapist. I know she is not “that kind” of therapist, but once the confession got going I couldn’t stop. I started by apologizing about being a sweaty, panting pile of goo after some small exercises. She shook her head in dismissal, because the apology was unnecessary. “It’s the fat kid in gym class,” I said. “I get anxious whenever I start to…
Hey Darling Ones, Have I complained lately about what absolute garbage the stroke recovery process is? Lest you forget, it is the worst. Also, please remember, that I hate it and do not recommend having a stroke. I need to believe even people who possess the patience of saints, who I guess were notoriously patient, would struggle with the time it takes to heal. Having the patience of a tired and hungry toddler, I am not doing so well. I…
Dear Darling Ones, Thirty days after the stroke that leveled me, I finally finally FINALLY have a physical therapy appointment. It’s tomorrow at 9 a.m. While I know I won’t oversleep, I’ll definitely under-sleep, I’m still afraid I will. Yesterday, I had another follow-up appointment with my nurse practitioner, who I have a crush on now. She’s the first medical professional who did not treat my body like a weird problem to be solved. She did not shame me for…
Hi Darling Ones, The thing that sticks with me the most from the 11 hours I spent in the Emergency Room the day I had my stroke is asking the MRI technician if I could listen to Frightened Rabbit. Because I have a tendency toward claustrophobia they gave me some kind of sedative before wheeling me into the MRI place. I was feeling pretty loosey goosey by the time I was laying on the bed that goes into the machine….
